Dec 19, 2009

Rubik's Cube...

Yeah, I got one for myself from the 'Mela' ...had always wanted one.

Let me tell you, I am a beginner...

Had always thought, that it would not be that tough. and its a game...

Infact, I clearly remember talking to a friend of mine,... to be true...'boasting' on the fact that I can solve it.
Only to discover that what I used to consider a Rubik's Cube was not one. :-)
It was a very easier version of it (which ideally can't be called a cube also! ) and had an empty slot, where the desired color could be put and delivered to its place...

:-D

Now, that I have it,I have tried doing it, and am doing it since the last 12 hours, to land no-where....

And, finally accept the fact that it DOES require some algorithms ...!!
(Mr. Nobody had clearly insisted on the fact, once in life..long back...that you'll have to learn them, but, I had denied his advice .... which I always do!! ;-) ....

Now, in the midst of my on-going Pre-Universities, I am reading and learning those algorithms...!! Phew!! I know it is not what should be done...
But, I Have TO SOLVE THIS ONCE...ANYHOWZ!!

My head's going this way.....




Tele Says: Never be so passionate (rather, Stubborn) to do a particular thing when you have something more important(priority-wise) left undone ...

(this is me at my philosophical side... trying to bring my crazy mind,back on track!)

:-))

Dec 8, 2009

Another blow...

7 years Post-puberty,I finally have the proudy 'Acne' visible on my so-near-to-natural face.

The pimply pains too found the perfect time to erupt and cause the maximum damage to my already not-so-good academic year.

I would like to extend my thanks:

1. To the final year examination stress, for contributing to the development of this sign, and making me realise that I have finally become an adolescent.
(Altho, I have already spend 2 years without this 'youthful' tag!)

2. To the deary deary mess-ka-food, which is full of garlic.
(My sebaceous glands are allergic to garlic, everytime I have it, something pops out of my face!)

3. To the regular change of soap, that I use. (Have been forced to use such different varieties of soap, that it appears to me as if I am a part of a survey/research 'on the affects of different types of soaps on Dry skin' !)

Done that, I need to emphasize on the fact, that now I am at loss of another advantage, that could have let me pass these tests.

Here, The prerequisites for one to clear these tortures, successfully, are:

1. Knowledge.
2. Lineage.
3. XX with or without beauty


I am left with only the last option (Without Beauty!) , and all I can thank is my Parents for this. :-D
(The XX Chromosomes!!)

*I am not beautiful, but, I have this dimply cheek, that can be lethal at times (provided it is used at the right place and the right time!)
But, the acne sprouting around the dimple is grossly hampering the lethal affect, and is seriously, a major blow to my preparation, and results. :-)

Hv fun....
:)

Dec 6, 2009

The Dentist with a Golden Incisor !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is in tribute to my Elder Sister's
ingenious and whacky ways of experimenting
with things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This act is copyrighted in the name of

The Great Elder Sister, TJ

Anyone found trying to copy these acts will
have to pay a 'huge price' to their
personality (appearance!) !!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A girl in her 23s and some 4 months (mentioned, so as to let you know the optimum time required for one to develop such innovative and out-of-the-world thinking that she,now possesses.)

A Dentist by profession, now preparing for her Pre-PGs, mugging all day long, had a vision, a Newton-istic vision, and she kept observing the cosmetic collection kept neatly stacked in rows, near the mirror.

She knew the vision was revolutionary in some perspect, and got up to prove her point and do something that her world of teeth and gums would be proud of.

She knew THIS would be time when she would rise amongst her peers, to a status that of Archimedes in Physics.

And so fascinated by her discovery, she ran out of her room, shouting 'EUREKA EUREKA!' 'TELE TELE !' (but, NOT sans clothes!! ) *Thank GOD! coz such exhibitionism is strictly punishable in our place.*

WHAAAA !!!

What I see in front of me, is my elder sis with her 29 teeth out (She hasn't got all her 'Wisdom' teeth erupted___ guess, that's the reason why all this was happening!!)

And amongst them was this Central Incisor...Painted GOLDEN...

The nail-paint had been her proud buoyancy mug!

She has painted her upper right central incisor golden with a nail-paint.

And, now, as I write this, She is running around the house for a Nail-paint remover, Spirit of any sort...so that she could get off her..

*Apparently she had thought it would peel off, or come out easily with some sort of scratching/ mechanical way.
But, IT IS NOT!!

Hehehe haha !!

Did someone say, "Tele is Laughing." ?


Not at all....

I am crying in laughter....!! yuhoo....yippie !!! :-))
I am Loving it!!
He he ha ha ha !!

Dec 3, 2009

Random

The one who learns from his mistakes :

HUMAN !!


The one who is reluctant to learn from his mistakes:

MEDICOS !!


The one who doesn't learn from her mistakes:

TELE !!


:)

PS: I am drifting to the 'Medico' status... Ready to learn from my mistakes. :)

Random

Sometimes you never reap what you sow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Its useless banging your head onto a wall.
Coz, only you will end up hurt.
The wall stands strong. Unaffected. Unhurt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't invest in a place where you'll never get returns.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dec 1, 2009

Back Up Plan !!

It would sound extremely weird...

But, I want to write this.

And, here I go...

#1 ~ The girl-next-door, i.e. my neighbour in the hostel dreamt of me.


Aaaahhhh ! The guys (I suppose!) are already getting their minds to work.

And for a change, their line of thought IS correct. :-D

My neighbour, who is perfectly 'Straight' in sexuality, dreamt of me, and imagined us as a twosome. :-(

!! An Important fact that needs to be emphasized here, and asserted: I AM STRAIGHT!!

Well, it was a dream, and it had to be weird. and something out of the reality.
So, I was cool with it.
After all, it was just a dream.

But, the shocking thing was when she told me that 'she loved the dream, and it was mainly because of my boy-ish ways of living life, that she dreamt of me with her, and not someone else.'
Haaah !!


Man, just whistling down your wing, and wearing Nadal pants, and driving a Scooter, and not studying till the night before the exams, and having a chilled thinking doesn't make me boyish !! Does it ??


Hey, even if it does.... Damn it, Man.

I don't give it a Sh*t !! :-))

Tele says: The silver lining of the whole incident is, that
Even if I end up Boy-friend-less, I stand a chance at gals !! ;-)
Haha !!
My Back Up plan might fore-fire !! :-)



#2 ~ As the exams are slowly moving towards me, my mind is getting flushed with ideas, and is becoming exponentially coherent to write on the things, which have for long been stagnant in my mind.

Every 30 minutes, my mind makes me think bout things in my life, makes me analyse my actions, makes me wanting to bring drastic changes in my life.

I am becoming obsessed of thinking about me, my life, my family, and my future. (not about my impending exams...and my classy rotten preparation, and my meek chances of passing them.)


#3 ~ Deluded, here you go...I've allowed the posts to have comments.

PS: Please sympathise with me, and If I am unable to reply to your comments, Please pardon this 'about-to-flunk' kid.

Nov 25, 2009

Rahul Gandhi

Rahul Gandhi visited our college, and the whole tete-a-tete that it was supposed to be turned out into a mere interaction, where the questioning wasn't allowed. And the purpose of the whole fiasco was to motivate the youth to enter into politics.

Some good things surfaced.
Against the general belief that there isn't a fair enough chance for one to enter politics, and make it big, was shattered.

For those who might be interested in knowing more about the procedure of entry into politics, search for ' Indian Youth Congress' on google, 'IYC' as an organisation impressed me (based on the extremely extremely superficial knowledge of it that I accumulated today from a member!)

Abt Rahul Gandhi... Looks good (!!) has style (!!) and is an average speaker. Din't like his interaction per se. But, it was worth all the pain. :)

:)

Okays, people, finally my final year exams' date-sheet is out...and I am off 'trying' to study... !

Have fun in life...
Happy Life...!

tc

Nov 23, 2009

Unpredictable Me...

At my best.

I have been acting extremely unpredictably... to the extent that not only others, but even I am getting a feeling of being an alien to my very own body.

Strange. It is.

Don't know where my heart lies, don't know where my mind lies and also,don't know where my soul lies. All the '3 Idiots' are moving at face paces, making me think lots of things. In diverse directions. They are not in unison. And hence, I am at my lowest, cognitively.

Things have been in such Brownian motion, that I stand very very close to insanity. (Which will become public, once I let my mouth speak...which, fortunately, I am not letting happen!)
But, for sure, If some one does get to listen to what averse metabolic things are going on in my body, its gonna result in some sort of immense repulsion. (They would run for thier lives, the mentally challenged that I am being.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. I don't want to leave my Mom-Dad ever. Just want, that for ever my life, I,just, have an accountability to them. Only them.


Being answerable to anyone...is weird. And the idea just doesn't click.


Every day of my life, I want myself to call my mum-dad, tell them what all happened in the by-gone day.
I want to send my Dad-Mum my monthly salary.
I want to use their Bank accounts. Want to see their names on the credit cards.
And want to call them and ask them, 'Can I withdraw the money, from this n that account? Do we have the balance in this account?'.
I want to reach back home, and serve the food for everyone. Shout in the house and call them for food, 'Daddy, ab mein khana laga chuki hoon. Come fast.' And we could have our food together, in one platter, on the 'pattiya', seated on the floor.
And we would look at each other, when someone has to get up and fetch something from the kitchen. And finally, only Mumma will get up and bring the required. :-)

I want to be the chota-sa shaitan bachcha...the 'Lanka', the 'melody', the 'raavan' for my mumma. The 'Betu' for my Daddy. OHHH...!!

I don't wanna grow up. I don't wanto live without them.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


2. And the other thing sprinting through my white matter is:
I wanna break this belief, that marriage is essential for sustenance.
(this is my Mum's belief!)

I don't think I'll ever find a reason strong enuff to part ways and mainly, PART LIVES from my parents. No Love could overpower my parents.

And, no one could understand me better than my parents.

And If I am not gonna find the same stuff there; Infact, If I am going to find something less than what I have now, 'fir mein usse kyun lu?' That would be 'A No-Deal'

Not that I am not ready to take the responsibilities of a marriage. I can. But, I don't want to.
I seriously wonder, If I am made for marriages? Or, I would rather say, 'Whether Marriages are made for me ?'

I am comfortable in a relation. Wherein I am still my mom-dad's and I am receiving that extra portion of love.
Without any extra duty towards any family other than mine. Only with my own Sur-name. Don't want that the feeling of being some-one else develops when I take my own name. Wanto be Plainly 'Telly Jain'. Not Some 'Telly Jain _____' !

Also, I do not want newer relationships. A relation would never bore me. I would not be un-faithful. The kinds that would want changes in their love-life.
I would always be a 'One-Man Woman'. But, 'devoting' my life to one individual (ala getting married to someone) requires a 'chamatkar' and some 'super-humanly qualities' in the person, coz only then would I ever be able to 'think-about' leaving my family.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


3. And the most important: I am not able to study.
And That is the specific reason for my unpredictable mind...(Lots of the weirdest things have not been put here...) and my unpredictable attitude...(Not putting the absolutely stupid things and acts and tasks and telephonic conversations that I have indulged into.)

If I would have put my brain into studying, I would not have been acting in such a psychotic manner.
But, I did, I am doing. and I will try not to.

Appears, the last few weeks of Final Year really got the better of me. :(


Tele Says: Love your parents, and not leave them.
Wish all my life would be spent in front of their eyes, and I could see them daily.

I WISH !!

Oct 30, 2009

ONE O ONE

Yeah, this post happens to be the One-O-One on my blog numbering.







And its gonna be the celebration time...




Hence,



Bye....

Lemme enjoy...

I FINISHED MY STS TODAY !!

hmmm...

WOuld love to shout out about, how much hard work have I done for that...

But, today's parrrrty Time !!

ASTA LAVista BABY !!

Cheers!! ;)

Bring on the music!!

Oct 24, 2009

FED UP !












Taking this research was a SUICIDE !! I mean it. :X

JUST WISH....

IF I COULD BREAK FREE AND RUN AWAY...





LIVE MY LIFE ...MY WAY....



WITHOUT ANY ACADS...ANY BURDEN OF STUDIES...
WITHOUT ANY RESEARCH...ANY BURDEN OF DOING THE STATISTICS YOURSELF...

HOW I WISH...I HAD A GENIE...
TO DO MY WORK...

I WANNA FEEL FREE...

I WANT MY MIND TO BE FREE OF THE UNDONE-TASKS THAT ARE STUFFED-IN-MY-HEAD. CAUSING INTOXICATION...

THEY ARE RUINING ME OFF MY CAPACITY.

CAPACITY TO WORK.

CAPACITY TO WRITE COGNITIVELY.

CAPACITY TO TOLERATE.

CAPACITY TO ORGANIZE MY CLUTTERED LIFE.



I WISH I WAS THE LONE INDIVIDUAL ON EARTH. HAVING ABSOLUTELY NO RESPONSIBILITIES, TOWARDS ANYONE. NOT EVEN MYSELF.

LEADING MY LIFE. DOING WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE...ALL TO THE MOOD OF THE MOMENT.
NO PLANNING.


JUST WANNA BREAK FREE.....


@#@$^&^*&^(&*!~!#$^ !!

BAAAAAAAAH !!

TAKE ME OUTTA HERE....!! OUTTA THIS FINAL YEAR !!

Oct 22, 2009

Swarg !

You are into the toughest time of your life. About to face the Biggest Exam.And the one most dreaded. You have worked day-in and day-out to carry out some other tasks. You have extended and re-extended and stretched your limits of working hard to a level you had never imagined. You have done even the work what you were not supposed to be doing. You took someone else's responsibility, and irked your body n mind n soul. You took all that pain. Just believing it all, 'some day' at 'some point of time' would be worth it. You taxed yourself, to the extent of crying n ending frustrated n 'feeling that you might land no-where'. You finish your work, satisfyingly. (wud rather not quote what ppl think about it.) Your work is appreciated. It has, now, to be transferred to another individual for further work-up. All people make you believe that now the work is not yours. Its only a work of a day. They direct you to some other 'concerned' people. They tell you how to do it. They dust off their task onto you. You miss your night's sleep, you slice your family time, you divert your energies, you just keep on working. And the other person,just sits strong, n chilled, n relaxed.


The thing is:
" KHUD KE MARE BINA SWARG NAHI MILTA..."

No matter how many promises you receive, no matter how much people may appear supportive and 'are ready' to take responsibilities.
Its only you who travels the lane.


Alone.



With only the blessings of your family and the words of your loved ones as the background score.


But, believe me... These work. These are miraculous.

Thanks for keeping me sane, throughout.

Indeed, Blessed to have you all.

Oct 14, 2009

A Happy Day...

Brother's Home for Diwali...

A Labrador pup now finally happens to be a member of our family. We brought her home, and She's gonna be close to me. (Ohh ! How long had I always wanted a puppy for me. And, now that I have her, I am enthralled on how my coming days are gonna be.
I, for once, have instantaneously bonded with her. And after the whole day, that I have spent with her...pampering her, taking her for 5 minutes walk, every hour. Nomenclaturing her...yeah, we zeroed in on the first name I suggested...MAGGI ! Not coz, I had suggested it, but, coz she related to the name. And, the very second time this name was mouthed, she responded. Had an amazing day with her. :-)

My bro got a new mobile for himself. And he has been teasing me since then.

Dad got the new Tata Photon Whiz...Unlimited download...Now, That's the most satisfying deal for today...I have always cribbed on the limited download limitation of broadband, and now that I have this unlimited thind with me...Things are gonna reach another level. I would download all the songs. I would download lotsa medical material. I would blog more often. I would chat more often. Everything, man...I would love to do whatever I have missed out in the limited version.

So,all in all, A Happy Day.
Just wishing some of the happiness be carried forward to the next day as well... :-)

Gd nyt people...

Oct 13, 2009

That's Research for you....



An illusionary task...wherein you work, purpose-lessly, and you find you are fooling yourself. Very proudly you may be telling your mates, that you are doing a Research, but at the bottom of your heart, your conscience tells you and you know that you have just found another flashy reason to kill your time. And in a grandeur way.




You just play with your time, create false belief in your mates, UNTIL...your analysis and report writing starts.

This task is indeed the drain of whatever your mind might contain. (Tho, mine is relatively very empty...and the Lecturers have to be the thirsty crow, and put in lots of pebbles to drain the salty, sour,bitter water.)

Feeling a bit better, as the research is shaping out good.
Just hoping to be able to finish all the work by the 2oth...
Have to submit it on the 30th...

Final Thought: You would never know how useful your work on the research could be, if you didn't have the Lecturers trying to suck out conclusions, if you didn't have the Pubmed Listings (that make me imagine, One Day. ONE DAY even my name could be there...)

Everything you do, it does turns out to be worthwhile. At some point of time, it would be, if not now.
Hence, Do what you have to, but, with diligence, and sincerity.

My mantra for life...

A new refreshing day starts...
And I, reiterate to me, My funda for Life...



Wish you a Very Blissful Day today...

:-)

Sep 26, 2009

Clinicals !!

On the 30th of September, I would be appearing for the Sent-up Clinicals for Medicine!

Yeah, Big Deal.

if you might happen to know how vaaaaast Medicine is, you'll definitely know why it is A Big Deal.

The examiner's are the damn well-versed physicians who have the books' literature on their tongue's most apical areas.Waiting to be vomited at your insignificant knowledge.

And we, the examinees, are the cool, medical students,
who love to defer acads upon later (we can defer them upto the last day before the Universities, plainly for the hope of the exams being postponed.),

and who love to talk (till the last minute of the on-going lecture),

and gossip (till the last few 'ml' of our forced expiratory capacities),

and roam around (even 10-15 minutes after our hostel gate closes, or till the other person shuts her room door at our faces & we can't find anyone else awake.),

and shop (till the last penny of 'thy' friend.),

and eat (sometimes upto the limit of going into a gastric rupture. We might sometimes have a smiling umbilicus-ala ascitic presentation of the abdomen),

and watch movies (we frequently find ourselves giving voices to the movie actors,coz we have mugged up the dialogues by-heart.),

and always find something to talk about in the first five minutes of our serious pre-exam cramming session, and agree to a friend's mood of not studying and accompany her. :)


Well, I can never stop talking about what paranoid activities we indulge into. And not deviating from my purpose; I talk about 'most nearing threat to my existence' : My clinicals.

The Sequence of Events will be:

We all would be collecting around the Wards, in such numbers, that even the HOD would be forced to rub his eyes, "All these were posted in this Department ? All of you?"

The patients would be found in a better behaved, and disciplined fashion. "Itne saare daactor aaye hai. Aaj koi bada doctor aaya hoga! " And they don't mess with us. (They would readily give their histories to us.)



Then, we'll be alloted the beds, and I would end up looking like this !!



And would carry the erroneous examinations...

The inspections, palpations, percussions and the auscultations... (This is the only sequence I'm confident about, and I KNOW what these stand for. *raising collars*)

PS: I would rather not comment on how to carry them out, in the manner the examiner wants me to. Coz, the method that I would follow would be anyways not accepted.



And, they don't like my hammer...Coz it looks like this:



Whereas, they want something like this:



Whooa! What is there in a shape? It still solves the purpose. Doesn't it? Huh !
*Small heads*

And, then I would be asked about this:



And Ryle's tube, LP needle, Liver Biopsy needle, and some Foley's cathether (just wish, I could keep one placed into me, in case, I go into some stress-induced Incontinence! Would wanto save myself from the added embarrassment, you see.)

And would be asked about these scribbles, which are very much similar to the ones I end up making in the lecture (whilst living in my world, with the Reticular Activating System at absolute peace, c/a NREM sleep.) Alprazol-ized!



And they would check my long term memory by asking me questions on the pills & drugs & their side-effects, all of which was taught 2 years ago. Two Years Gone, and they expect me to remember each and every smallest adverse reaction of the drug and its dose schedule in the different diseases. WTF !





Hey, wouldn't you like to see how I would be managing a Viva-voice ?






Most of the times .....I would be confused...trying to decipher what exactly does the examiner want to ask, and more importantly, what does he want as an answer.
(This is the BITTER TRUTH: For a successful viva, you need not know everything, what you must be knowing is to match your frequency with the examiner's...Coz he would settle only when his ear-drums catch upon a vibration that was moving in his internal capsule, and his cortex and his thalamus.

And, these happy expressions would be seen, when in the midst of the examination, I would hit an idea, about how I would be enjoying my rest of the day, after the about-to-finish torture.
:-)
:-)


Examiners are dementors, they drain the happiness from your souls.
But If you think about the most happiest moments of your life, (the post-exam period)
You might be able to fight them, and throw them miles away from you. (read as: A few days.)


What I dread is : GETTING A

STAMP.

Don't you relax.

Coz...


Exams will soon have another innings in this test match, where despite playing on a Follow-on, the game never ends. We have to play innings on innings, until we retire, i.e. die (Applicable to all Doctors.)

WISH ME LUCK ! :-)

Sep 20, 2009

Impulsive !

Your Basic Instincts are basic to you. Inherently yours. They run in your DNA. In every Thymine and Cytosine molecule of your body.
No matter how many years you add to your age, or how many experiences you collect in your closet, or how much wiseness you graph on your growth chart, instincts will forever live with you, like the shadow, or like the Sun and the Moon.
We, for once, may be bereft of our shadow, or the Sun during the eclipse, but, its only transitory. We do end up being home. End up being ourselves.

There might be people who can't separate from their instincts, even for a flick of a second. Who live the life their own way. True.
And there are some, like me, who can sustain without their instincts for a significant period.

A period.


Not forever.



No one can.

My basic instinct is being IMPULSIVE.
(My sister's is: Being Lazy.) :B :)

Have always been so impulsive, taken all the decisions of my life in a haste. In the Moment.
But, That's me.
Times when I have regretted my acts and my words, have been many.
But, there have also been times when I have achieved things, that otherwise I couldn't have ever dreamt of. And these are the times, which make me feel proud, of being impulsive.Being Me.

But, there's one more aspect to 'following your instincts'.

One must always try to keep their instincts at their feet.In control.

I profess that trying to keep your instincts subdued for some time, adds to your development. As an individual. As a human. And As yourself.

(I am trying to control my impulsion to disclose something here...)
And I am glad, I am doing this...

For one of my deary friends says:
Don't let public forums replace your personal diary.
Everything about you shouldn't be divulged.
Stay virtual.

Let them be in your life.

But, Don't live in them.

So True...

Thanks 'Nobody' ! :)

Sep 4, 2009

Encounter !

It is the least imagined thing for me... that one day,I would be making such a post...and that too the post which is being written after a long period...!

I had an encounter with a thief.
It was 3rd Sept.2009. 3:45 am (most probably)...
My room.
Me sleeping contently after a big, tough, tiring day. (The day had started at 6:00...and for a change, I had attended my college lectures, went to the postings, toiled over cases, brooded over EKGs, had a Resident's clinical on Neurology (! tiring !), followed by another lecture by a Unit Head (Again NEUROLOGY ! :-x ) ,
over-checked any pending errand (for the next-day scheduled Farewell party to our seniors !),
had food, did the dishes, checked my mails after 3 days (!), and got to doing the laundry... ( clothes had piled up...5 days...of mine, my sis, and one dress each of Mum n Dad!)
... finished the work at 12:30....got a bath...and sat down to study. Ofcourse, it didn't last more than 2 pages...felt sleepy, and decided it was time I get to sleep, coz the next day had to be even more hectic(...the party, and my research & clincals...!)
Had the just-before-sleeping conversation :-) and silently slipped into the NREM world. It was 2:00 am then.

What I remember next, is :
A shadow of a lean body, tall man, with bag on his back. Standing at my room door. Still.
In the sub-conscious mind that I was, I thought it was my eldah sis, ready to go to college. 'Man, I've slept that long!' But, the very next micro of a second, my brain didn't quite like the idea of him being Tiny.I shot another look in that direction, and saw the figure run towards the kitchen. SHIT !
It's, for sure, no-one from the household. Not identical to anyone I know. SHIT !
Got up, put my night gown, ran towards the drawing room, and thru the woody-antique-divider that keeps stationed there,looked for any evidence of movement. (Just to confirm that I wasn't hallucinating.) Yeah, indeed there was a man with a bag on his back, trying to hide in the space of the kitchen door. SHIT !

Went to grandpa's room, moved him, and whispered into his ear, that there was someone who had broken into our house. He got up, gave him a wood ka 'danda' (My Dad has kept one, in every room of ours, in case we need it) And we advanced towards the kitchen. In shock, in fright...I was just hoping he doesn't hit him before my Daadu even notices him.
But, to our surprise, or rather, shock, there wasn't a soul visible. Where did he disappear. Just as I started advancing towards the other rooms to check for being his hide-out, my Dada shouted, "Telly!"
I ran immediately towards him. He was standing still, in statue, pointing towards the window. As I rolled my eye-balls in the direction, I too stood in shock.

The window pane was empty. Without the iron motif and the iron grill. It felt like I was standing outside the house. The trees clearly visible. The black sky seen.
It had served as the entry point for those scoundrels.

Grandpa rushed out to run behind them, and I dialed 100. The police was very keen to listen, responded nicely, and in the next 10 minutes, we had two policemen into our house, looking for the damage, and checking each room, for the damage caused.

What he managed to do was-
Eat sweets from the kitchen.
Took some 2000 bucks from Daadu's wallet (kept in the lobby)
Sneaked all the boxes of Imitation Jewellery kept in my wardrobe.
Sliced the Gold chain & Diamond pendant I wear...from my neck !!
And took away my bag...heavy, full of books,apron, steth, knee-hammer, some 10 pens, my research reports, and my wallet, and some 'coins'. And left all the rest except the wallet & coins !!
Took away my sleep...as soon as I close my eyes, I see his shadowy figure...near me.!
Took away the feeling of security that I always have for my room or my home.
Stole my 'self-confessed' adventurous attitude...as I no-more want any thrill in life...!!

i don't think I have any desire left to write anything on this subject...!

have fun, ppl...
and study well...!!

Jul 23, 2009

Procrastinator Speaks...

As I read this post @ Neophyte’s Blog,
I was dragged down into the dark dungeon, which had a brightly-illuminated, shiny something. A MIRROR.

It was as if reading about myself, the way I have survived the 4 years of my Medical School till now. I would not reiterate the way I did have a zeal during my high school. To achieve something, to perform well. No, To Excel in what-so-ever task assigned.

With my entrance into medical school, came a sense of carelessness, or rather, I would out it as - - > a sense of mediocrity.

Somehow, I didn’t feel like excelling, didn’t feel like being exceptional, but just being someone amongst the ordinary. Just another medical student.

I convinced (and consoled) myself by believing that I had actually been through this really-tormenting-stress-situation,(referring to the Pre-Medical Tests), which had taken a mammoth chunk of my energy and left me prostrated.
And like a women, who has gone through recent labour, I wanted to rest, and replenish, and regain my energy with time, so that I am prepared for another pregnancy ..errm…..Another such arduous task, some time later.

Even a female takes 2-3 years to be back in form, But, I just couldn’t.

All these 4 years (the time I was supposed to be recharging myself with the ‘will to be extraordinary’) I has such fun, had such an easy life. A life, I have fallen completely in love with. The life where I talk, have fun, with friends, all ‘sans’ the turn-off component – Studies. It lured me into a place where I started procrastinating.

I agree, I never had it by default.
But, now, it just seems to be an essential-added-feature of the new version (Beta version of Tele! – Medica version of Tele !! )

Such is this long-acting drug, that it has reached rocket-high levels in my blood, and I have become psychologically dependent. (And, to confess, actually-physiological dependence too has started culminating)

Once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator !

I would not like to believe it, But, I have to accept, this DOES happen.

I have deferred my studies, so many times, for such long times, that I have been stationed at a particular point. << Feels like being stagnant through ages. >>
And also, to note, I have required my friends, the current of water, which have pushed me some meters away from my previous points. And, now, I always need a constant optimum push from them.

I have become so much disabled, that I have forgotten my own-inherent-ability to drift.

Or, would say, have kept it dormant. Consciously & willingly & deliberately.

I do get up from this sleep, occasionally, only to discover that a book in hand, thoughts in mind, and a somewhere-else wandering brain, does no good. And alas, end up hibernating again.


For the past few months, I have been awake. ( I would-like-to-believe-so)
Awake, as regards Studies. Have tried to do some tit-bits, at damn slow speed. * I appreciate that, at-least, I have been in motion!
~ Although, the relative motion graph pictures me clearly losing the battle, but, I am MORE-THAN-HAPPY.

Witnessing the change in me over this period, I thought that, Hey, I really am outta the ‘Procrastinating Phase’.
But, No.
If it wasn’t acads, it had to be something else.
This something else – happens to be my Research.

Over-zealously, I started this stuff,
maniacally, I fought for it (during my the thence going ‘University Pre-Final exams’)
and impractically scheduled it for Final Part-2.
The toughest year of any medic’s life. Not to forget, the cruelest, the meanest, the the morale-shatterer & the psychiatric-disease inducer.

Research made me re-search for the procrastinating element of my soul.

And here I am, after having discovered it, am wearing this good-old-attire of mine & not been doing my self-chosen job since the past 3 weeks.

I have been left with very less time & lots of work.
And to add to it, the pressure of one more dream project of mine – The College Magazine work is keeping me on my toe-nails.

All this is seriously gonna kill me, or at-least stupor me once. Very soon indeed.

I, praying-ly hope, that I successfully overcome the procrastinator in me & rise from the ashes !! (Ala Phoenix !)

;-)

Jul 18, 2009

Hello, Am Back! Hopefully...

Work,Posting,College,and Studies (~My liabilities),and to some extent,'My letter-eating-keyboard' have kept me away from Blogging.

Sorry People.

But,I couldn't (din't wanto) exert myself in hitting the same letter, some 5-6 times, in order to be able to see it on the screen.
Forget letters, the SpaceBar irritated methemost.

See,it is still not functioning in the standard 'healthy manner'.
But,still I am frustrated enough, for not having written anything since long..and I have consciously decided for this torture to myself. (Actually, a Pleasure!)

*Whatever happens, the Space should be always there, functioning.
It makes everything sweet & worthwhile. (Its the Key to keep a Blog running...and Life.)


Repairing the Keyboard of nime,I did a nistake...I have put the 'M' key at 'N's place and vice-a-versa. Norom, I an! ;-)
And,I conclude that opening the whole board for such a petty thing is so boring.I neam, Mean...It's not going to cause much problem.
I hope you people will understand my time-constraints,and my inability to bore myself with such a task.

I have many tasks to be done,you see...


*Buying a new watch for myself.

*Listen to songs on my New MP3.

*Sleep around for 9 hours daily.

*Talk on the phone for 4 hours at-least.

*Watching 'Rakhi's show'... (Yaar,Sometimes even I want to have a hearty laugh, and what better non-sense to watch than this.)

*Watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. at 12 in night,till 1, or till my Mum comes out of her room (with all wired-up hair,eyeballs not visible due to the bright light which dazzles her) and reminds me of the class next morning (for which,I have asked her to get up at 6:00, and continuously nag at me, so that I can get ready for the class @ 8.)

(My latent period/ reflex action time has risen tremendously.
From the few minutes, in school, its now been in hours,since the last 2 months.)

And,it has done nothing,but helped me miss most of my lectures.
And helped me reach half an hour late,in an hour's class.
And, helped me sing a song to the class,as a punishment task.

(It ain't a good idea to torture/punish the sincere-95-fellas for landing in time,by making me sing a 'fultoo-Hindi-Romantic-number',that too for a Whole Minute!)

Poor fellas, I am sorry.Sorry for making you listen to a sur-and-taal-deficient song.In a croaking-and-melody-less voice of mine.Malingning the song which you all dearly love- "Suraj Hua Maddham". I am SORRY.

:-0
See,Now I know why Sir made me sing it. So that I feel guilty.
And,I am.
Or am I not?
Hey,I think I am not.
Of course,I am not guilty.
WHY should I feel this way?
I just discovered a new talent of mine.
I showcased it in front of an audience of near-100.
I need a treat.
And, I need to thank sir, for finding this pearl from the vast ocean in me.

:-)

Jul 9, 2009

Random

True love cannot be found where it truly does not exist,
Nor can it be hidden where it truly does.

Jul 7, 2009

What an IDEA Sirjee !!







Have loved all these Socially relevant and phenomenal advertisements...

(Some credit does go to Mr. Abhishek Bachchan,
coz of his naughty eyes that make me go wooow!,
and his baritone that statues me,
and his...Hey, com'on, I am not gonna write why I love him!)
Let's get back to my reason for writing this here.

Be it the 'mobile' identity of an individual, or the right to education 'for all', or the 'janta ki awaaz'.They have conveyed some strong messages,and devised some very good solutions.

One more in line, and indeed, a very very important 'healthy' ta(i)p-e is out.



WALK WHEN YOU TALK !

ermm...I have a story of myself to it.

I actually have had this habit.Of walking while I talked.
Be it a basic landline phone or a mobile.It was during my 11th standard that I developed it.I used to walk in the gallery whence on phone.
Don't know how and when it became a habit, but, do remember- My Mum used to scold me for this.
It was probably as, thence she din't know,how-important-a-health-tip-it-was! ;-)
I used to actually irritate her by moving around a particular place and,that too in a particular pattern.
...You know the way the kids don't touch a line,or walk in the squares,or walk on a line (erm..like checking If I have ataxia!). Yeah,I used to do this while talking.

Many of my friends and family members thought that the weird act was just another proof of my being crazy (I am preventing myself from disclosing the true word they used.) 'Insane'!
Yeah,they were.
Or rather,Unaware of the ingeniousness that bubbled in me.
See, had they ever paid head to my acts, they would have been the proud discoverer of this health tip.
Of course, Serendipity, it would have been.
But,nah...it was left for my AB junior to do it.
And, see ...
Am I complaining?
NOOOO....am not.

But,people around me are! :-D

Just wondering, whether people ever follow these tips/ try to implement these social do's around them??
If they would,it would be a much better place to live in...


After all,An !dea can change your life...
Kyun Sirjee??

You Can !

* This poem is special for me. Reason being, It is the very poem that my Dad had sent me during my testing time (@ PMTs) and I used to ignite the fire in me by reading this. And this very poem is what He has sent to my brother, who too is going thru this phase (Only the difference being, he's preparing for IITs. Thank God for that!)
Some things run in tradition. And it's so good to be able to follow them.
Lately, I have been doing a lot of this motivational lecture thing...My brother loves to listen to me, and whenever he's a bit uncomfy with on-going things, or is unhappy with his study pattern or results, or just a bit tensed, he rings me up to just listen to me. He is the one who makes me feel the existence of an Elder-Sis in myself. It is so pleasing to see yourself being looked up at.I hope, am helping you babes! I love You Bhai!!















Here it goes....

If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don’t!

If you like to win, but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.


If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost;
For out in the world we find
Success being with a fellow’s will;
It’s all in the state of mind.














If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.


Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger and faster man,
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can!




BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
AND ALL THAT YOU ARE.
KNOW THAT THERE IS SOMETHING INSIDE YOU THAT IS GREATER THAN ANY OBSTACLE.

Jul 2, 2009

Prison

Completely stranded and isolated from the world.
And It felt bad.
No net connection.
No phone (my landline got dead & my mobile's speaker's got a virus...whateva i speak is not transmitted to the other side.)
No blogging.
No orkutting.

Hey, I felt like in a prison last four days.

I have become habitual (I am not using addicted here, as I am not.I did survive without it,you see...without any withdrawal symptoms!!)to these facilities of life!

And,I am back.:-)

Jun 29, 2009

A golden something !



Often heard this 'Born with a Golden Spoon' phrase.

For me,it means:
Having the privilege of seeing all your desires fulfilled, by anyone else but you. You name it, and you have it. By virtue of their riches. Or By virtue of their position/post.

I indeed then, have been born WITHOUT the Golden Spoon.
And I (don't know why) but am glad I've been this way.
Yeah, I have actually been gifted with something else.
A Golden Heart. Or a Golden Brain. Or above all, A Golden Spirit.The Spirit to excel or achieve.

And its better.
At least what ever I am, or will be, I'll be because of me.

I know, the struggle I do, will pay me my due.

I wanna believe that it does.


And THANKS MOM DAD, for not putting in my mouth, the golden spoon.
And for teaching me to pick that wooden spoon and how to place it in my mouth.All on my own. :-)

Jun 28, 2009

Hey, Take Care!


One more cousin of mine leaves for her further studies...parts ways from this place, which has been her home, since the day she was delivered from her mom's womb, filled with the divine birth fluid.Never been out for any work, wat-so-ever alone. Its her first. Yep, she was excited, as she always had wanted this to happen. She had waited for long just to see this day.But, as it is said, your hometown is where your heart will remain.
The intensity she wanted to move out of this place, was far too less than the nostalgia that was flash-backing in her mind, as she moved towards the platform.Tears were shown their way. She had far too long tried to swallow them back to their genesis.And there we were. All in tears. Its like sending your child at war.War of the worlds.Her world being so naive and the one she enters, cunning & mean. You just pray & hope,she comes back alive,in the form we have nurtured her.Not injured. No, we don't want her to suffer.And not dead, like the world,where she'll be successful & detached, to our emotions.

I don't know, if its the correct comparison, no, it isn't. But, it is how I was feeling. I just want her back, after her studies, safe & the same way as she is now.

Jun 27, 2009

Your touch...



I get a black out
My mind gets a block
Not a thought occurs
All words go mute
I stop searching for them
coz,
I wanna live this moment.
I wanna live your touch.

An un-intentioned touch
and the world changes face.
I leave this hush-a-hush city
I get into my own world,
with hearts flowing by
a garden of letters from you,
all scribbled with 'I Love You'
There we walk, side be side,
Just you & me,
and the silence.
The sudden slight friction
between our hands,
and the thin line of air
between us would collapse.
Hey, Its the world I enter,
Its what you make me feel.
Your touch.

The shooting sensation that tingles my body,
The goose flesh that bumps,
The breath that goes away,
The air that i gasp for,
The view of my eyes, alters.
and now,
Its only your eyes that are seen.
The intensity of emotion in them,
blinds my eyes.
You speak with them
Yeah, I know You want me
My lashes shy down
Our hands entangle more tightly
and you know, you got your answer.
Through my touch.

The stomach goes empty,
All hollow it feels,
the muscles give me pangs.
They too answer when you touch me.
or when you touch my heart,
with your words.

Oh! I wanna seize this moment,
this moment for ever.
I wanna be there with you.
With you like this, for Ever.
You breathe in me the life,
the reason to live.
I'll live by these moments,
till you give me some more of them.
And then, I'll live by them...
I'll live for our togetherness,
I'll live for this touch,
I'll live for you...

Jun 25, 2009

Ever thought why Love is Blind ?



Things base and vile, holding no quantity,
Love can transpose to form and dignity.
Love looks not with the eye, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.

-William Shakespeare


I have a story for you...
Picked from Wikipedia.

In Roman mythology, Cupid (Latin cupido) is the god of erotic love and beauty. He is also known by another one of his Latin names, Amor (cognate with Kama). He is the son of goddess Venus.

Envious and jealous of the beauty of a mortal girl named Psyche, Venus asks her son Cupid (known to the Greeks as Eros) to use his golden arrows to cause Psyche to fall in love with the vilest creature on earth. Cupid agrees, but then falls in love with Psyche on his own. When he leans over from a distance to kiss her, he causes one of his own arrows to fall forward, piercing him.

When all continue to admire and praise Psyche's beauty, but none desire her as a wife, Psyche's parents consult an oracle, which tells them to leave Psyche on the nearest mountain, for her beauty is so great that she is not meant for (mortal) man. Terrified, they have no choice but to follow the oracle's instructions. But then Zephyrus, the west wind, carries Psyche away to a fair valley and a magnificent palace where she is attended by invisible servants until night falls and in the darkness of night the promised bridegroom arrives and the marriage is consummated. Cupid visits her every night to sleep with her, but demands that she never lights any lamps, since he does not want her to know who he is.

Cupid allows Zephyrus to take Psyche back to her sisters and bring all three down to the palace during the day, but warns that Psyche should not listen to any argument that she should try to discover his true form. The two jealous sisters tell Psyche, then pregnant with Cupid's child, that rumor is that she had married a great and terrible serpent who would devour her and her unborn child when the time came for it to be fed. They urge Psyche to conceal a knife and oil lamp in the bedchamber, to wait till her husband was asleep, and then to light the lamp and slay him at once if it is as they said. Psyche sadly follows their advice. In the light of the lamp Psyche recognizes the fair form on the bed as the god Cupid himself. However, she accidentally pricks herself with an arrow, and is consumed with desire for her husband. She begins to kiss him, but as she does, a drop of oil falls from her lamp onto Cupid's shoulder and wakes him. He flies away, and she falls from the window to the ground, sick at heart.



Psyche then finds herself in the city where one of her jealous elder sisters lives. She tells her what had happened, then tricks her sister into believing that Cupid has chosen her as a wife instead. She later meets her other sister and deceives her likewise. Each returns to the top of the peak and jumps down eagerly, but Zephyrus does not bear them and they fall to their deaths at the base of the mountain.

Psyche searches far and wide for her lover, finally stumbling into a temple where everything is in slovenly disarray. As Psyche is sorting and clearing, Ceres appears, but refuses any help beyond advising Psyche that she must call directly on Venus, the jealous shrew who caused all the problems in the first place. Psyche next calls on Juno in her temple, but Juno, superior as always, gives her the same advice. So Psyche finds a temple to Venus and enters it. Venus orders Psyche to separate all the grains in a large basket of mixed kinds before nightfall. An ant takes pity on Psyche and with its ant companions separates the grains for her.

Venus is outraged at her success and tells her to go to a field where golden sheep graze and get some golden wool. A river-god tells Psyche that the sheep are vicious and strong and will kill her, but if she waits until noontime, the sheep will go to the shade on the other side of the field and sleep; she can then pick the wool that sticks to the branches and bark of the trees. Venus next asks for water flowing from a cleft that is impossible for a mortal to attain and is also guarded by great serpents. This time an eagle performs the task for Psyche. Venus, outraged at Psyche's survival, claims that the stress of caring for her son, made depressed and ill as a result of Psyche's lack of faith, has caused her to lose some of her beauty. Psyche is to go to the Underworld and ask the queen of the Underworld to place a bit of her beauty in a box that Venus had given to Psyche. Psyche decides that the quickest way to the Underworld is to throw herself off some high place and die and so she climbs to the top of a tower. But the tower itself speaks to her and tells her the route that will allow her to enter the Underworld alive and return again, as well as telling her how to get past Cerberus by giving the three-headed dog a small cake; how to avoid other dangers on the way there and back; and most importantly, to eat nothing but coarse bread in the underworld, as eating anything else would trap her there forever. Psyche follows the orders precisely, rejecting all but bread while beneath the Earth.

However when Psyche has left the Underworld, she decides to open the box and take a little bit of the beauty for herself. Inside, she can see no beauty; instead an infernal sleep arises from the box and overcomes her. Cupid (Eros), who had forgiven Psyche, flies to her, wipes the sleep from her face, puts it back in the box, and sends her back on her way. Then Cupid flies to Mount Olympus and begs Jupiter (Zeus), to aid them. Jupiter calls a full and formal council of the gods and declares that it is his will that Cupid marry Psyche. Jupiter then has Psyche fetched to Mount Olympus, and gives her a drink made from Ambrosia, granting her immortality. Begrudgingly, Venus and Psyche forgive each other.

Psyche and Cupid's daughter was Voluptas or Delight, the goddess of "sensual pleasures", whose Latin name means "pleasure" or "bliss".

At the conclusion of Comus (1634), the poet John Milton alluded to the story of Cupid and Psyche.

"Celestial Cupid, her famed son, advanced,
Holds his dear Psyche sweet entranced,
After her wandering labours long,
Till free consent the gods among
Make her his eternal bride;
And from her fair unspotted side
Two blissful twins are to be born,
Youth and Joy; so Jove hath sworn."

Jun 23, 2009

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MOM-DAD !






H.A.P.P.Y.
A.N.N.I.V.E.R.S.A.R.Y.
M.O.M.
D.A.D.


WE LOVE YOU !

Shhh....

'Where am I?'
A soft gurgle. Something's moving.
'Who am I?' he yelled back.
No answer.
Some more movements. In & out.
A disgusting soft, shiny, dark thing is wriggling around.Creepy !
'Hey, someone tell me where am I? Where am I moving to?'

Everything's well-illuminated. 5 people around, with their faces covered. Only their eyes,bright eyes are visible.Some more people, also with their faces covered, scattered here &there.

The same voice now shrieked, 'You stupid! You don't know where to put the optical view to? Show me the operative field. Why are you again and again touching the liver, You liver-lover.' :-D


Hey, neither was the man a Blind man, or an Amnesic patient & nor was the place a dark dungeon of kidnapping gang.
It was an Operation Theatre and the man was the Surgeon trying to clip the Cystic Duct in the laparoscopic setting.



Yeah, I got a chance to view one Laparoscopic Chole-cystectomy.
I would describe the technique as tough yet funny.
Tough,coz you need an immensely superb hand-eye-foot coordination. You are working with instruments in both your hands, and operating via the screen and your foot on cautery.
Not only does it require a single person's super-surgeon qualities, but also the assistant's equally important support,who helps you hold the organ, on which you are operating.
One uncoordinated movement, and you might end up creating diseases in the patient.
Yeah, the Iatrogenic work happens here, much more than often.

And funny, yes, it is. As the surgeon catches another thing, the bodily organ slips,as if a proffesional from 'Kachcha Giroh', gliding. He attempts to catch it and while operating, the view suddenly goes away &he doesn't know where he's heading to, a la Blind man. The assistant slips the organ & he tries to find it out, like a Hide & Seek game.
It is actually a game.
A Video Game!


Tele says:
Now, I get to understand why do people say,'Dont play too many video games.' You might end up being a Lap. Surgeon. ;-)

Jun 22, 2009

Surgery Ends !

And I think, I did learn a lotta stuff here....

I love ya, Surgery...
I hope I come back to you soon...
*(The way I go back to everything all-over again ! ) ;-)

*Moving from riches to rags ! Once again. ;-)


*Disclaimer: Not to be understood.

Pakistan takes the T-20 World Cup !



Alright...

Congrats Bhaiyo...

Inshaah Allah, aap logo ne bada bhadiya khela.
Aur bohat saahas dikhaya.
Mubarakaa Miya !!

Did anyone hear the victorious Captain Younis Khan's chat with Nasir Hussein at the Victory Ceremony ??
If not, do watch it.
I and my sis had a great time laughing over it. Not that he's not very good at English.But, the way he was answering him.
He wasn't listening to the question being asked, and continued to speak whatever he felt like. Distinctively Distant from the question. :D
Most of his comments did include 'I'. Afridi,Kamran and I played well. :D
'Are you glad you took over the Captaincy?'
'Wherever I used to go, people used to tell me to take it. SO, I did.'
Are, man...ab khush hai ke nahi ? :D

Kumar was impressive, and it is very much there that I am comparing Younis with him. And relative to him, Younis was pathetic !

All fun apart...
I feel 'HAPPY' that they won.
Happy coz it will give the already bereaved nation a reason to be smile.
A reason to celebrate.

People are not to be hated...But,Terrorists are.
And I hate some of those, amongst these good people.
And I hate the majority of political people there.
And I also hate those people who think that India is their enemy...
And above All, I hate the Americans ... for their dirty planning & bad intentions !!

Jun 21, 2009

Hey people,

I am not quitting writing....
I never can.
Its just some other things that have made me derive less of time for it...
But, Yeah...
I'll be Back...
Shortly...
Or...
I'll write less often...
Not the usual frequency I have been doing the Last month !!

You all take care of yourself...
And everyone around...I am waiting for some activity from you...
I am missing reading on the 'Idle Mind' and the 'Deluded'
Thanks for starting to write more frequently, Neophyte !!

Wish me luck people !! :-)

Jun 20, 2009

Life Instructions !!

Not that I don't have anything to write...I have plenty of alphabets to describe my state, as in 'L.A.C.K.I.N.G. T.I.M.E. T.O. D.O. S.O.'
and
'I. A.M. S.O.R.R.Y. '
Sorry to myself, since I am not able to carry fwd this hobby of mine.
And sorry to myself, also because,Since I don't think anyone anymore reads this blog he he!! ;)
So, its completely my Territory, Once Again !! yuhoo !! ;)
*breathing fresh air* hmmmmmmmmm

Alright...this is something I bumped upon !!

Have a Look !!

And till the time I get some time..have fun !! Enjoy !!




Found this out...

Jun 9, 2009

Liking & Living...



LIKING, for me,aptly defines my attraction towards Surgery.The real work. The Herculean capacity to mind your nerves, and remain in wits, when you see a devastated case, with almost nil chances of survival.
The skill of hands operating on the opened body. The sputter of blood and the bonding by sutures. The suction machine & the cautery. The scalpels & the forceps & the arteries. The mosquito & the needle. The bowel loops & the omentum. The appendix & the Gall Bladder. The Blood & the Bile.The ligature & the vicryl. ALL. All is so fascinating. So Real, so near the human body. Amazing.
The OT table & the lights. The nurses & the Surgeon. On his toes, since morning. The muscle cramps & the then, nauseating feeling. The late night calls for an Emergency & the lack of famly life.
Standing for so long & operating, with keeping your mind always on Patrol, is tough. Atleast for me. The lifestyle of a Surgeon is what I wouldn't want to live, even though I like this field immensely.
Yes, Liking & Living are two different things.

For Living, you do not have to CHOOSE what you LIKE,
But, LIKE what you CHOOSE.




Like. You may like a lot many things. You may develop a fondness for a particular thing, a toy, a teacher, a profession, a person. But, there's an essential difference between liking & living.
One cannot always live with whatever he likes,
and one can't essentially like the way he is living.


Liking is a matter of heart & loving is a matter of an integrated-heart-and-mind.
When it comes to living, you've to be practical, think about your priorities, your abilities. Think about how you dream your future to be, whether the thing you desire would adapt to your style of living.
Analysis. Lots of it is involved. And the mind & heart decide on a thing, which appears more practical, feasible.More nearer to truth & not a fantasy dream.



Henceforth, I pledge to be more practical, and handover my heart to my mind, to chose what is best for me. And thence, I also pledge to 'Like what I Choose.'

I Am...



As soft as hard, I pretend myself to be...

As much workless as busy, I tag myself to be...

As much committed as non-committal, I claim myself to be...

As indecisive as the instantaneous conclusions I make...

As orthodox as modern & liberal, I paint myself to be...

As sensitive as ruthless, I portray myself as...

But, as 'Tele' as my parents made me as...

Jun 2, 2009

World No-Tobacoo Day !



Made this on the celebration of World No-Tobacco Day at our Tobacco Cessation Centre...

:)

May 30, 2009

Isn't it ?

The world's rushing here and there,
moving at its fast pace,
. . . a second to stop is required.

We are talking and chatting and mailing,
. . . a caring, real touch is desired.

Busy, doing things professionally,
. . . a personal short face-to-face conversation is needed.

Mean world works at its own
. . . someone who's truly & solely OURS is longed for.

The current scheme of things move autonomously,
not dependent on any particular-one,
. . . someone who waits for us, is looked out for.

Everything around is disposable & replaceable,
. . . we are 'essential' for someone, is what we are waiting to hear.

. . . To be taken care of
. . . To be heard
. . . To be wanted
. . . To be loved, is all that's required. Isn't it ?

Speechless !

Alright,
I accept:

I am a girl with lots of words and all the more,abundant smileys !! :-)
;)
:D


But, My abilities do have their Maximums.
And I witnessed it yesterday.
I think I reached the zenith of my non-stop talking habit yesterday, so much so, that I actually wanted REST. Can u imagine? I NEEDED A REST.THAT TOO IN TERMS OF SPEAKING.
AGAIN A FIRST. :-o

I had spent my complete day, talking,and more bit of talking and lots of more talking. :-D
At Posting, In the Theatre,At the wards, At Home, Over the Phone, At My Jijaji's place, Over the Phone, and again at home. . . Okays, I am not mentioning it anymore.

Friends here, Family here, Some old friends here, some old friends elsewhere, Some new people around, Everyone....Anyone. ;)

Reaching the Maximum level, does makes you feel prostrated. Isn't it?
That's the reason why I hadn't posted anything yesterday.
I had actually, used up my allowed-maximum-daily-limit-of-words. And I was wordless to write up even. :-o

Altho, this crap shudn't have been here as a Post, But, Come On, I reached to heights, be it any field.
But, I did.
Don't I need to celebrate my conquering this Height?
Even if I needn't, I AM. :)


I simply need reasons to party and have fun.

Everyone needs.

May 26, 2009

A Live USG Session !

Ever seen that Advertisement of a mother/father visualizing the Baby's movements and heart beating on the USG monitor ? 'Nahin, mein apni beti ki hatya nahi karoonga.'

I always used to think, it was nothing but a gimmick to try to woo people not to abort a girl. I expected them to be something 'crude'. Nothing vivid.
And all these years of my Medical School, I have not managed to even get a subtle-est hint of what is there in the USG recordings. I always have turned to the 'Reports' leaf of the diagnostic modality, and not look into the Black-and-white tracings.

And contrasting to my view, I today happened to be a part of a USG session.
It IS SO LIVELY. I could see the foetus actually moving. Moving his arms, legs.Heart beating. A clear thump of a beat could be seen.ViVID !!


And the fine technique that it is, I could even see the phalanges of the fetus moving. Yes, the cute miniature fingers, the ones which I just love in a newborn, (they are soo soo beautiful!) could be well differentiated.

The four chambers of heart, so clearly appreciated.
The femur, the humerus, the vertebra, ribs, cranium, clavicle ... amongst the bones that I could easily identify.



And some other amazing fetal structures that I was made to see were:
The Falx cerebri, the midline structure separating the two cerebrums.
The yolk Sac, visualized as a small ring like structure on USG ( only in early stage of pregnancy)
The Placenta, the Umbilical cord.
And


One more thing was taught...Sex determination. *popping eyes ??*
huh, Yep, the illegal skill is always transferred and taught first. ;)

One funda which I learnt was:
All fluid IS Anechoic. Hence, it will be seen Black on the recording.

Tele says: USG's fun. Ever get a chance to see a session. Dare not miss it.

Little Pearl !

Hmmm...
It has been a great day today. Great relative to the previous one, which was an emotional turmoil altogether, at both professional and personal levels . A long scolding from the Surg Unit Head (long, as it lasted for an hour...and he was wholly-and-solely scolding all this long).Fault: Not attending the OT days and missing a class. huh !! And my temper got the better of me, and emitted it at personal level. Result: A ruined day. Bad day.

Anyways, Past is Past and I move on, only to be greeted by one heck of a cool day.




A beautiful, 'Cholecystectomy with a CBD stone' operation in the OT.

Yes, after the bulk-of-scolds-that-we-had-ingested the day before, and no more desire to take any more; we went to the OT. And to our surprise, the Unit Head himself, showed us the operation. HE LET US SEE A FEW STRUCTURES.
Yeah, A Big Deal, I know.
Coz, most of the times what we see is: An incision, lots of instruments, good amount of blood, and the incision being sutured.Never a live structure/organ. ha :D

Today, we managed a glimpse of the Gall Bladder, the CBD, the retro-peritoneal part of duodenum, the Major duodenal papilla, Ampulla of Vater, colon, the Greater Omentum.It was more than I could have ever asked for, atleast in the Govt. Hospi scene.

And the best thing my eyes clicked today, was: The cute li'l stone...the dimensions of a small pea, and the color of the dove: A PEARL indeed.

It was a good experience.
Just a thing that irks me: The scheduled Stone removal from the CBD was converted to a Duodenotomy, the duodenum opened, Papillotomy, and then the stone found out. The pt. was a COPD pt, and for this small stone removal she was given a 7 cm incision, abdomen explored, CBD opened, Duodenum opened, Gall Bladder removed. It could well have been removed by an ERCP or an Endoscopic intervention.
Still, no grudges.
Common, I wouldn't have seen all this, had it been an endoscopy or ERCP !! ;)

Tele says: 'Hey, how big a gift it would be: My beau gifting me a necklace of such pearls?? All that he himself would have excavated (oops, removed) from actual patients. I would treasure it more than any damn rasc** thing in the Universe!'
Weird, I know it is. But, anything that's disgusting has so much to do with me. ;)

May 22, 2009

Obeisance !

On my way to MG Hospital,
Taking the unusual route, the one which I have probably not taken for a century.
And the reason being, the indurated and the pitted roads.
I pass across the temple. The temple where my family religiously visits their Gods, very routinely.
'Their' because, I don't.
And its only after their abundant pleads that I agree to accompany them.
But, this has not happened in the last many months. Many.
Just that they are tired of doing this pleading over and over again.
Or that they have accepted my idea of worshiping, and left me to be myself.
Both have an equal share.And so,I have stayed away from temples.
Not that I don't believe in the Almighty. Its only that I try to run away from this cult of worshiping.
I worship Him, in thoughts.In isolation.
I see Him, in my closed eyes.In imagery.
I pray to Him, in wordless voice.In mind.
I devote myself, in people-less shrine of my heart.My soul.
And I owe it all to Him, in penny-less thanks.


I generally prevent going to temples to just see the God and pray in front of that Powerful Stone Statue.



But, there are times,
when my eyes need their vision,
when my soul needs their purity,
when my heart needs to pour my gratitude-filled blood out at Him, in person.
In a divine place, so truly and aptly named 'Temple'.

Today, was one such day. I turned back to the temple.

Peace, tranquility.
The illusion of me being my destiny-writer shatters.
The truth of my accountability to a Greater Being realized.
The content of leaving myself at His will, felt.

Happiness and purity gushes in.
Recharged with goodness.
Refilled with humbleness.
Rejuvenated my strength.
Reiterated my aims.
And rediscovered the truth of life.
Reborn. Yes, Simply Reborn.