Mar 14, 2009

An Adieu...

You are the one,
The One who'll be mine,
I thought.
Who would be the kind
I have always had in mind,
I thought.
Love, Trust & Respect
Complete in every aspect,
I thought.
Understanding my thinking,
My likes, dislikes & working,
I thought.
The one who'll test or check me
But, still let the loyalty be,
I thought.

But, your habits,
Your lack of time for me,
Your limited version of knowledge,
Your lack of funny bone,
Your demoralizing attitude,
Puts the much-needed RESPECT into refute.

I thought,
Still, I have Love and Trust
& our relation won't go to dust.
No-respect denied me this:
To put faith into the dish.
Trust & Love too got burnt in this Broth,
& An un-palatable delicacy is what I got.

And now, I think,
It was a big mistake of mine,
To visualize a recipe made fine...
Of ingredients, ME & YOU.
And now, I think,
I have this view,
That we are better
without each other.

It hurts sub-consciously,
To say a Bye, Knowingly.
I know,
Happiness won't be achieved this way,
Happiness in this relation too, is bereaved, at sway.

Wishes that your life be
The way you dream it to be,
Your desires be fulfilled,
& Your tensions be killed.

And do remember,
I tried to love you,
As hard as I could.
But, the effort didn't lead me to my destination
And I surrendered to Prostration & Depression.

An Adieu....

Mar 5, 2009

Nayan-va !

5th March.09
7:00 am - The rays of sun strike my retina, and I got up in a panic.
[It IS Panic, when just the night before your University clinical exam, you decide to succumb to your desire for a short nap, and wake up after a good 7 hours sleep, in a situation where the whole of your preparation was left to THAT VERY NIGHT.


8:50 am - 10 minutes to the scheduled Clinical Commencement, You catch a girl in the hostel, running in her night suit, a bag on her shoulders, wearing her slippers, hair in a filthy state. No, she ain't a Slum-dweller who's stolen something ;) She's ME...driving to my home, to get a bath and dress myself for My D day.[Read: Detention Day]

9:06 am - Reached the Wards. The examiner's are not in picture, BOOKS OPEN.CRAMMING THE PAGES as if I have Super-human powers, waiting at a page not even for a complete-second. [That's because...I was trying to go through the SUPER_SELECTIVE SNs only ! ;) ]

9:20 am - Being a 'HUTCH-DOG' to the Resident Doc, following her, just to get a Case alloted.
'Okies, you take this case. 10 mins. only.'

History & CC & Findings & Provisional Diagnosis. - All In TEN MINUTES !! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND ??

5 Minutes into the case, & she's on my head,'Are you done with it? Come On, kitni der lagaoge !'
Short Case 1: Female, in her 60s, progressive defective vision since 5 mnths & watering from eyes; Findings: *Pterygium - nasal & temporal sides *Arcus Senilis bhi hai yaar! *Immature Cataract bhi lag raha hai!
Provisional Diagnosis: ??? Kya likhu/kise likhu ??

Into the decision, and,'Now, its too much, I've given you 10 minutes.Go to Bed no.28-Another Short Case for you.10 Mins.'

Short Case 2: Female, 44yrs; swelling, medial & inferior to the medial canthus, vesicles present, complaint of muco-purulent discharge. 30 seconds, and I place all my bets on Acute on Chronic Dacryocystitis.
Got time to write down my findings, formulated my cases.

Was not even over with my Short Cases write-up,
'Okays, you done with it?? Go to Bed no. 16, Long Case for you, 45 Mins.'

Went to wash my hands, And, no WATER ! Now?? Time's ticking away, and my heart's palpitating. 5 Mins drained with the tap-water. Rein-dear...Run.

Long Case: Bed No.16, Male, 60 yrs, Retd. Station Manager (What! An educated fella! No ! They always ruin the history taking! They are far-too aware of their rights & hate being pokes by a MEDICAL STUDENT.)
CC: Glare,Defective Vision,Black Floaters,Colored Halos
History taken. Examinations done. Iris Shadow positive, Greyish white pupil, opaque lens.
And all through the procedure, he was talking, talking, asking, enquiring, showing me his ir-relevant reports. What is it? Now what will be done to it? When will the operation be done? How long will it last? How many days will I have to stay here? How much gap should be there before the other eye is operated?

But, for the sake of a good Doctor-Patient relationship, I Answered all his questions. ALL. And in that All, I couldn't do the write-up.

45 Mins up. My turn to EYE the Examiner ! :(
But, I had some time before the encounter. Wrote up the whole thing:
Short Case 1: Pterygium + Arcus Senilis + Immature Senile Cataract !
Short Case 2: Acute on Chronic Dacryocystitis !
Long Case: Immature Senile Cataract (Too easy, ain't it?)

And Now, I was Off to start with the First of the FOUR Vivas of D-day!

Viva-1 : Short Case: Correct diagnosis.Convincingly answered all the questions framed. Infact, I think, I din't answer just one question. So it was 'A Near-to-Perfect' Viva. Happy !! HAPPY !!

Viva-2 : Long Case: Correct diagnosis.And now came the jet of questions.Stopping me at every sentence, asking me questions. Well, I was prepared.
But, what I was not prepared for, was: Explain the COMPLETE CONVENTIONAL ECCE OPERATION ! (Blooper indeed, coz, this I thought was not to be RATTO-FIED.) He asked me for each & every detail. (Hey, yep, I wanna be a surgeon, but, NOT an Ophthalmic-surgeon. :D )
Back to Normal, No, Better than Normal, AS I WAS NEARING THE END.

Viva-3 : Instruments: A very good external,some very good questions,my common-sense impressed him (I didn't give any stupid reasons for identification. This is a PRISM, and its because of its shape. Later on, I did add on the required explanations,tho.) Chalazion surgery, Irrigation-aspiration cannula (Yes, we were taught something else, and he had his own theory to it.He explained it to me.)
So, a few 'GOOD!' remarks from him, some knowledge from him, and his smile & his last funny remark, made me feel it was a job well done. ECSTATIC !

Viva-4 : The Best Viva amongst all. The GRAND VIVA.Usually, the most horrifying one of all, But, for me, it turned out to be the Boon.
Some bookish questions (I answered them correctly :) ) Some questions which have never find their way into the books! He asked me a few of them, & I tried to stick to the basics, logically answered them, and THEY WERE TAKEN ! A lot of Praise was received amidst.
And then, he asked me the question, 'I know you'll answer all the book contents.And I wont ask you these.'
'What? Anyways, its always better to say NO to a New Question, as compared to saying a NO to a Book-ka question. :D' (Book kisko yad thi! :D Luckily, jo question pehle pooche, woh aate the. hehehe)

"If you have to treat a person with Acute Congestive Glaucoma, having Diabetes Mellitus, Would you use Mannitol?"

Mannitol is an osmotic substrate, but also a Sugar. Can I?
Was just thinking, & he said, common, dear, chinta mat karo, JAO...!!

Did I hear 'JAO' ?? Was I free ?? Free from the eye-sore?

Out of the hall, My resident (yep, the same one who had tortured me throughout the day) came & told me, yours was a great Viva, Sir has given you 8/10.

So, It was a Great END to Ophthal... As after a LoNg LonG time, I happened to feel good after appearing in a Viva.

Mar 3, 2009


First time ever...

I appeared for a Viva as the First Student of the day... & the first student of the whole practical schedule... !

And It didn't go as I had expected...

Its just coz I was given JUST A SECOND to let the news sink in...
And the very next second, I was into the External's Haunting Room...!

PSM-va (PSM-viva) to bigad gaya... But, I know I'll get good marks...

Examiner's do have a soft corner for their First Victim &
If she's a Girl... ehem !!

Also, I wasn't Great, But, simultaneously, I wasn't Bad !

I knew it all, it was just that I was not able to construct my answers in a presentable/ impressive way... (the thing that I am very much particular about...)

Anyways, Its a Past...
And am looking forward to my Future... Ophthal, here I come !