For times' sake,
For distractions that were fake.
Or might be, they were true...
Unlike some weeds that grew
in the backyard, Unwanted.
Now that I look behind:
the bench, the grass, and the hound;
The garden that I had lived on,
for the years long I lay my feet on,
was just a greener pasture.
Time has powers to nail,
and truth is like that hail,
which hits the soft leaves.
The greener grass bereaves,
for it is now a brown bald patch.
Many seasons a plant has to see
'Twas Rains, Spring when I was free
to flower and smile and giggle around.
Summers are up for this time round,
and it's the sun that smiles now.
The flower in me needs to close,
to conserve, flourish; and pose.
Pose with a beautiful face in view,
Romance and kiss the drops of dew,
when...when my season comes.
Up till then, I'm keeping the things away.
I'm back to becoming
the Little Bud that I once was.
Closed, cute, with a cause.
Lest I become an item on bake...
All...For times' sake...
All...For times' sake...
...Of a common post that we 100 students shared; wrote below our names on governmental papers, on investigation forms, on application forms: Intern Doctor.
...Of the life so youthful in its name; full of friendship, teasing and bonding; over classes, practicals, postings and duties; of functions, fights and re-bonding: College Life
The last days have been interesting, lost in celebrations. Parties every night, and preparation in the days. Gossips attained a new high of all times. All which wasn't done in the college times found an outlet and takers.
Guys and Girls who had never shaken a limb even in chilly freezy winters, danced for hours incessantly. Happiness does that to you.
All the love harboring lockers opened up; a few new couples were made and a few new heart-breaks. Still, the broken hearts are happy, at least they tried their bit.
The old, going-strong couples moved a step ahead. Happiness did that to them.
The fun-lovers are yet the fun-lovers, enjoying the transformation of the serious souls to party maniacs.
Graduating after 5.5 long years gives a satiating feeling.
It does feel great.
Forgetting the dilemmas my brain fires, endorphins are up for releases, body waves with the musical notes, lips widen to smile at others' laughs, and heartbeats race with each day.
Sitting in the back seat was so fun.
Dad Mum drove us to where they wanted,
or where I desired to go.
Then, came the time...
When I wanted to take control
Of the steering, the gears and the accelerator.
It injected the shot of power...
Of directing it where I wanted it to.
They say, Power is the seed to sin.
And, Power is addictive.
The keys of life lay in my grab.
The ultimate power of independence was mine.
Did it rise to my heads??
Did it malign me for a period??
The car zoomed.
The gears clicked.
...In the lanes that were forbidden.
In the areas far from the final destination.
Up and down,
Left and right,
Reverser and bang on the wall.
Zapping accross the face of the earth...
Without a predecided end-point,
Aimlessly foraying into unthought-off realms...
Of mountains, rivers, savannas and plains.
The air was enough to alcoholize me...
And the cloudy skies were enough to opiate.
Yes, it was a hallucination...
That the car was moving in the righteous path.
When they said, 'Come back!'
I thought they were missing
the powers they once had.
When they tried setting
bubbles of destination on GPRS,
I felt they were being authoritative
& creating a remote for the toy-car, ME.
I resented, I smashed, I argued & I cried...
See, dependence to power I had developed.
What a veil the power was...
Showing me a glorious journey,
acting like a 70 MM screen.
How convenient had it been,
to null the aims,
defer the solutions of the problems,
forget the realities &
live into the beautiful movie.
I lived there...into it.
Enjoyed it with the popcorns
and the burgers.
Till the credits ended.
And the reality came & tore the veil.
It stood like the ticket checker...
Forcing me to leave the dark hall,
to enter the bright sunshine.
Blinded to it, I rushed back...
To the hall.
I wanted to escape.
and the bumpers of the road.
Since, I knew..
The theatre was a cake walk.
Was I sleeping and dreaming?
No, I was rather taking the world as a dream...
Which I could structure and design,
mould as per my need,
control as per my choice.
The water splashes didn't get me up.
The violent shakes didn't break my dreamy world.
Engrossed with my dreams...
I did nothing...when analyses grew
in the conscience.
Where power had taken me to,
A false world it was...
I had betrayed not everyone BUT myself.
This intoxication had to end.
The effects of it had to fade.
And when it did...
I lay here distraught, dismayed.
Oh! I wish...
They find my keys
and drive me to home.
To security & caress & love.
Instill in me the purpose,
the meaning of this existence.
Oh! I wish they do...
& I wish I am able to do what they say!!