Sep 20, 2012


Few months back while having this conversation with Neophyte over how he puts in so many hours reading news over the BBC website, I wondered, 'What is it that could keep him glued to it...the mundane daily reporting, the filthy politics, the sports highlights, the gossip (Yeah, Men are bigger gossip mongers than women), the sensual XX pictures (XX denotes the female chromosomes, you're responsible if you thought otherwise), etc. etc.? Wouldn't the articles just end with his speed of reading and leave him sore one day to not have found good stuff to read?'

Leaving his choices to himself, I was content for it would, at least, prevent me from his over thinking and general concern for my career/future. (Oh Yeah, He's mighty worried about my indecision, instability and unpredictability. That's a different point, anyways!)

After months of time spent on facebook, twitter, movies, serials, cookery shows, sitcoms (Started with The Big Bang Theory, finished all seasons, and then to Friends, whose 2 seasons have only been 'covered' !) ; today it struck me to do something better than just loiter around for entertainment from others. And what better could it have been than the BBC portal, which I had a recommendation for.

Neurohacks, is one section of BBC that caught my attention and there were two things I learned today:

1. Endowment Effect : The exact thing could be read here, but I put it in my life in a way which goes like this: The fact that we are possessive about a thing is because we own it. We value it even more because it is special to us in an emotional way. Be it a person, a novel, a shirt, a keychain, or a message in your Inbox. We don't do away with them, and keep them treasured within us.

2. Fundamental Attribution Error : The phenomenon that we all inherently have of blaming others for their mistakes, and being plainly unlucky for ours is what is Fundamental Attribution Error. (Read more here) The virtue of finding causes for things is what leads to it, and generalizing it to them leads to the Ultimate Attribution Error, eg. Women can't do math.

PS: Hoping I get to read some good stuff like this regularly. ;-)


Tumhaari aawaazo se judi hai meri hansi ki thitholi,
tumhaari chhaaya se bandhi hai meri hiya  ki dori,
tumhaari aankhon se samjha hai artha khushi ka,
tumhaare ashruo se dekha hai mann tumhara.

Itni pyaari, itni kareeb kyun ho tum...
Ki tumhaare hone se hi lagta hai sab poora,
ki tumhaare bin, sab kuch lage hai kora kora,
tumhara sparsh jaadu ka ek rehasya hai,
tumhaara dil, ankahi bhavnaao ka shrota
tumhaara mahaj pratibimb mera upchaar hai...
Tum ho to mera sansaar hai..
...Tum hi to mera sansaar ho.

---6th March 2012

Aug 5, 2012

Kind, are you?

Donated blood today.

It must be sometime in 2nd year of my MBBS curriculum that we students
attended the proceedings at our hospital on the Blood Donation Day.
Though, then we were taken for being the 'crowd' and to fill the empty
auditorium (& we were also offered samosas, pastries and cold
drinks!!), I felt since then the desire to donate blood myself.

Either due to pale conjunctivas, cold-cough, upcoming menstrual phase,
or due to the myths my family held...years passed and I never could
really do it.

Particularly remembering my Final year days, we conducted a blood
donation camp in tribute to a deceased, and my Mom didn't let me leave
the house. (The reason was: Your exams are coming. You'll get weak.)

Intern year made me even more desperate. Being the Pediatric Intern,
the interactions with the thalassemic kids (so many kids...dispersed
over the age groups) and their helpless parents...It pinched and
pricked why we could do nothing else but give repeated blood
transfusions to keep them going.

Over the period of one month of our duties, we made friends with them,
few of which required transfusions fortnightly. Sweet, tender kids
with smiles on their faces, and tensed, sad parents who painfully saw
their darlings needled.

So, after 6 years of my first desire, I today, without telling anyone
at my home, went to the hospital and donated a unit of blood. For
those kids, I tell you.

PS: Mom Dad have scolded me quite harshly for not informing them. Dad
himself is a volunteer blood donar, and my Mom believes that his
weight gain is due to previous such donations; and so he doesn't
donate anymore. Total myth.

PPS: I also donated blood because I get to drink Gold Coin!!! ;-)
besides the frooti, chaanch, gulabjamun, chips, samosa they gave us at
the blood bank! ;-)

So, here I enjoy my chilled glass of apple juice in the satisfaction
of having done something for my cute little friends.

Do that. Be brave. Be kind.

Jun 19, 2012

Fountain Fool

Fountain hath nothing but to shower
Quench thirst and bottle store for the traveler
Untrue, Unjustified is its wish of reciprocation
For a mere source it is for that soul.

The sharing of heart in words & admiring stares
A thing of past it was, to beat loneliness
Dreams, Promises, Desires it was told
But, shouldn't end hath to have a twist...?

The traveler steers ahead with the camel or the fleet
Not landing an eye on the fountain that stands by
Wisdom is here for the fountain to collect
It hath nothing but to shower.

Jun 14, 2012

J Spanking! ;-)

Jashn, my younger brother is fondly called 'J'...some fun at his expense that we guys did...texted him these one after another at the rate of 1 message/half hour ... fun it was.
Just thought would save it here so that we could laugh over it years later reading it here! :)


How would AR Rahman enquire for Jashn?
By singing: J Ho!! J Ho??


Whenever the world wants to appreciate a joke, they say: J Baat!! :P


Every Joke starts with 'J'!!

How does Jashn introduce himself?
Hi. 'M J.

What do you call Jashn when he wears a white t-shirt?
J K White!

Who will publish the biography of Jashn?
Jaypee Publishers!!


When asked about his Lords, Hanuman Ji says: J, Shree Ram!!

What will be Jashn's wife's name?

What will be Jashn called when he becomes a saint?
Swami Jay Dev!

May 23, 2012

What a big fuss is it if the person you are marrying is not a doctor and you're one??

Ages have gone by and we still have kept the notion of 'A Doctor's
best suitor is a doctor' alive. Yes, even I blindly believed it till I
had a reason to prove it wrong. Love.

The war of my worlds had begun, I thought. Putting forth the liason to
my family and their prompt approval felt great. His family, too, were
indeed happy, for their son had sought a girl. (The fact that he could
was a reason in itself for celebration.) ;-)

The fight that I had thought would be tough, and would have to be
fought with all the weapons out in the open was not a fight at all.
Their were no soldiers firing at me, no archers aiming at me, no
arguements thrown at me. Infact, this was a storm inside me, which I
had to calmen at my time of committment...this was the question within
me, which I had to answer...this was the decision that I had to firmly
take by myself....merely because of the myth our society has created
and believed ever since. In the absence of such a notion, I would not
have to give my 'Non-medic' guy so much of thought.

Anyways, being officially together was a relief and bliss. Some people
applauded my breaking the league, some people still pestered that
'Doctors understand each other's lifestyle better'. Fine.

Life is merrier and beautiful. Our wedding dates have been finalized.
8 months later we would be Man and Wife. Amidst such happiness,
there's another such upheavel whose genesis I find stupid, and
explanations unnecessary. For now, those storms, questions and my
decisions are not inside me, they are in the people I meet. For open
discussions, as if it were a debate competition or a panel discussion
with the people no less than 'experts'.

People are more interested in quoting the 'failed' cases to prove the
general notion than thinking about who they are arguing with. Even
that is fine, until they start predicting the future about how he
would dislike my night duties, how he wouldn't be able to understand
the pressures of this profession, how the professional life would
creep and kill my personal life. n blah n blah.

Sometimes, I wish I could hand them over a trophy and end the
conversation. They'll atleast feel a winner, how-so-ever insensitive
they might be.

Then, sometimes, I wish I could aggressively open fire and go -'Being
a doctor doesn't mean I can't marry a mortal human, when I too am the
same.' ; 'My specy hasn't changed. Not that I am a Homo sapiens
doctairre.' ; 'When did being a doctor become the minimum eligibility
to understand another doctor?'

But then, I don't.

For they would never understand.

For when I am happy, I don't need to shout and tell them that I am.
They'll know with time.

For one day, seeing me content, they'll quote my example to argue with
the one who says that 'Doctors should marry doctors'.

For the time will come, when such obsolete notions will disappear.

And even if it doesn't...I don't give it a damn! Shaping our life is
in our hands and our hearts. No false belief can distort it.

PS: The story and lives of two people are known to none other than
those two people themselves.

PPS: Love trespasses caste, creed, gender, professions.

Apr 27, 2012

Wild I go...

There's a good news I have to break here:
I'm getting married on the 1st of the Valentine Month next year, to my best guy friend. After an year of smooth, lovely and laughter-filled courtship, I know my life with him is not going to be any different.

Now that my marriage dates have been finalized, there's a whole lot of new things popping in my naughty mind (Naughty because I'm going to emotionally blackmail my family to fulfill these wishes in the name of me leaving them). Here's the list of the things I would want to do (atleast once) before I get 'taken'.

10 Things to do before I get married:

1. Get a pup for myself. (He hates them!!)

2. Get a bunch of tattoos made. (I'm sure he mustn't be very fond of them.)

3. Get myself a shape. (It's not exactly beautiful to be in a disproportionate body.)

4. Get a girly gang ready for a 2-3 day trip. (This is practically an impossibility with my current friends.)

5. Organize a Spinster's for myself, whose dress code would be 'minimalistic' and dance style 'dirty'. (Oh, I so miss my hostel parties.)

6. Paint 3 giant paintings in my current room and one more 'big' wall space in Dad-Mom's room. (This I will anyhows do!)

7. Take some vows in the name of God, so that I get a way to stop my parents from giving me expensive unnecessary stuff on marriage.
(They won't listen to my wishes otherwise.)

8. Go for a bike trip with my brother and explore the terrains of India. (Even a 2-3 day trip must be fulfilling.)

9. Go to a theatre and whistle loudly on dialogues and dance on fast numbers, like crazy. (I, sure, need my college friends for this.)

10. Smoke a cigarette, just one 'kash'. (Quite unlikely I'll do this.)

Wanna actually go wild, before I take the docile pet form. ;-)

Apr 10, 2012

Bin tere...

Two weeks before Sangeet
Ti: 'All right. It all has been very unorganized.'
Te: 'Oh yeah. I knew this would happen if we leave it for later. We ought to think about a theme, gal.'
'I was all the time waiting for you to do it. But, you had studies.'
'And you told me you'll decide that with Jeej.'
'Ohhh please, he knows nothing about these events. You knew that.'
'Yeah, I know that. :P'
'So, atleast decide your song.'
'Let's first decide yours and Jeej's.'
'That we both will do.'
Questioning, raised eyebrows, 'Ohkay.'

A day before Sangeet
Ti: 'What is the solo song that you've decided?'
Te: 'Let me see. Let the rest of things fall in place first. Yours and Jeej's not yet upto the mark. Mine, I'll see later.'
'Later? Do you want to dance at all, in a solo performance?'
'Haa Baba! Want to. But just can't get any time. You know na!'
'You better find a song.'

Morning of 'The' day
Brother: 'When will you practice yours, Te?'
Te: 'And what if I say I don't want to.'
'Doesn't matter. You'll rock anyways, even without a practice.'
'And what if I say I don't want to give a solo at all.'
'I'll say you're being bad.'
'What was last you saw me dancing alone?'
'Hmmm... A...Monu's was you and her. A....Jeenu's...Ah...Naah. Yeah...Been Quite long.'

During the function
Ti; Sad faced, almost about to cry, 'You're not dancing for me, on my marriage, na?'
Te: 'No. I am. Can it ever happen that way? Idiot.'

5 minutes later, for her sister's wishes, against her own wishes she was on the stage. Dancing. Alone. Without her. In the last many years of her life.
I miss you, darling. Immensely.
I am all alone without you.
I am incomplete.

I HATE marriages!!

My hatred towards wedding celebrations is probably due to the surrounding environment I have lived amidst. Criticism, Allegations, Outshowing each other, Judgements...all the kinds of negative emotions and vibes are related to it.

Why does wedding become a platform to show off your riches?

And why does even a middle class man try to conceal that he is not rich?

Why do people judge a marriage by the no. of dishes and kind of decorations?

Why does the society want to live it this way when the majority of middle class men are dying under the burden of the expenses incurred for marriage?

Why doesn't the middle class man stop pretending?

Why doesn't the middle class man become wise to understand this chakravyueh?

Why do we have to invite so many people for the function? In previous times, those all relations were close. But, in present times, we hardly interact with them.

Why do we want to follow the rituals of past in present times where they have lost their essence?

Why do we have to invite all those who invited us for their celebrations? Why a tit-for-tat?

Why do the hosts feel bad when some people couldn't turn? Reasons could be genuine.

Why does it become a point for keeping grudges?

Why have marriage celebrations become big social obligations and not realistic happy affairs?

Why have marriages now become only a matter of money?

How much did girl's father give to his son-in-law? How much did the girl's parents give to their daughter? How much did the maternals give? How much did he/she put in the 'lifaafa'? How expensive a gift did he/she give?

Why have blessings become measurable and comparable in greens?

Why do the parents falsely name these social obligations as rituals or 'our love' or 'our dream' for you?

Has money taken the place of love?

If dowry was a menace in medieval times, then wedding functions are the menace of today.

And why, despite knowing and hating and not wanting to become a part of such a menace, should people have to participate and follow what the world does?

A disadvantage of being a social being, I guess.

Yes, I hate attending marriages for I hate shows of the fortune that people put up.

All the more, I hate that even I will be having such a kind of a marriage and that my marriage will not be a simple court marriage/ a small family affair!!

:::::::::::I HATE marriages !!:::::::::::::
!But, I do love you, Mr. Nobody!

Dream : Kindle : Accomplished

One dream accomplished:
Buying an Amazon Kindle e-book reader.
Searched the Amazon Store, felt it was expensive.
Tried contacting all the friends and friends of friends if anyone was arriving from USA, but to no avail.
OLX Second hand deal, almost finalized, unluckily was sold a day before we were to make payments.
ebay New Kindle Keyboard 3G Wi-fi ordered as the Deal of the week. Otherwise, Indiaplaza sells it cheaper.

Next dream: :::Confidential:::
Planning: Check
Blueprint: Ready
Finances: to be arranged
Anticipated time of accomplishment: July 2012
Kindle's supposed to be delivered in 4 days from today.
Eager to see how it would be like!
Althought technically it ain't any accomplishment, but just a purchase.
Yet, later I'll be paying for it from my earnings.


Bound. In invisible non-existent wires.
Till when will I want to do things which I don't want for myself.
Will there be a time when I will finally do things which are silly and stupid and impractical and my desires?
Whom am I trying to prove myself to...??
This vicious cycle...has to stop.
If I don't rise to myself, If I don't stay firm on my words and one shall consider my plans for myself.
I should not do what I don't think is right. No benefits of situations to anyone. No considerations. No situation ruled decisions.
:::::::::No COMMENTS, Please:::::::::

Mar 28, 2012

Why do you??

This blog was started 3 and a half years back with a poem that I had
written for my Mom-Dad's Anniversary...and a write-up for an
ever-vivid Rain shower with my college friends on Friendship's Day.

I felt I could be articulate enough to hold people's interest.

This blog became a way for me to put forth my views, my rebellion, my
opinion and my heart out.

From properly structured posts, to random ramblings, to serious
matters, to just timelining my life's events, and to merely speak to
myself...this blog has presented it all.

Time and again, I did not have resources/ time to take care of this
place. It had to be closed, twice. There was a time, when I felt it
was sort of insignificant to write whatever I wrote. There was a time,
when I felt it was unjustified to put in words whatever momentary
struck me.

Breaks and patch ups, my love story with my blog has been great. It
has taught me; it has nourished me - in thoughts and articulation.
This blog stands a proof to my evolution, however minute it may be.

It is not a blog anniversary I'm celebrating.

In idleness, scrolling down the posts from past, today it felt
beautiful and contenting. Happy smilies showed up on my face and
today, I asked myself 'Why do I blog?'

...the answer to which...
(today, I feel is,)

Because I like reading myself
...through my own eyes and mind...
Because I like re-living the feeling
...through my own words and phrases.
Because every post is special, every post carries its own
remembrances...and every post has a bit of
This blog is like my pensieve and the posts are my memories.

By the way, Why do you??

Mar 24, 2012

The Hypocrite Humans

It all is different. We all are hypocrites.

Fundas and theories all stand apart when the reality stares you back in your face.

We are not idealists. We are prone to attraction, jealousy, pride and fright.

We are humans. We can't forget, and can't easily forgive.
We wait...for hours, days, years...for the loved one to turn up.

We love, and want to be loved. We want to be that special someone, that 'most important' person in someone's life.

Yes, we want to be successful. We want to be famous. We want to be spoken of, with regard.

We are possessive. 'I wouldn't mind your spending time with someone for work or leisure.' We say this, when inside us, we fear to lose.

We love attention.

We get angry on the ones we own.

We're selfish. For our happiness, our desires.

We break rules, our believes change, our moralities twist.

We do everything to accomodate the one we love in our lives.

We shout. We rush.
We love. We scream.
We melt. We break.
We hit. We fight.
We defend. We sin.

For we are humans. The hypocrite humans.

PS: I don't want to be anything else than this. I love the grey in me.
(24th February, 2012)

Mar 17, 2012


Hey, you, yes the one reading me...I've got matter. To write a book. On marriages and psychology and behaviour patterns of the Indian family. On rituals, their significance and their genesis. This one marriage made me learn all this. You think I'm drunk, no?? Nopes, fed up. Btw, this was my sis' wedding. And, I was supposed to be married to one hell of an awesome guy in the next March. Period. Nopes, The guy's the same. And, the nature's even better. But, its not the next March. Am loving it so much. Not the fact that I'll be marrying late. But, that I get to take on with the life unmarriedly. Without the 6 metre cloth snake called Saree. For the events, one has to wear that or another heavy skirt called Lehenga which is enough to smoothen the movements and curtail walking fast of the bride. Settle that. I'll be settling some one and a half years from now, in the arms of the man who loves teasing me to tears. Yes, our plans got delayed. Coz, life is not the way we want it to cruise like. Winds and waves also govern it. My exams, his exams, our future. Even after my marriage, we'll anyways not be together. He in Hyderabad, if things go as planned and I, somewhere, doing my first year of residency, if I get through the entrance test. So, practically the next two years of our life too, we're to only dream of being with each other. Btw, marriage is a crazy institution. And its event organization, even more whackily crazy. And being the host is like the Prison Of Azkaban. Punishment being meeting people. All the responsibilities of attending a multitude of individuals and the timely execution of the events. Btw, I didn't hate it too much, until the last day when my tempers had already risen, and my moods were a total low, coz he was supposed to be leaving.
It's silly how I'm missing him so much this time. So, see you people later. I ought to talk to him now. Please don't you call the one you love. They might be busy in work or writing an exam or sleeping tight in bed. ;)

PS: I, generally, don't use this kind of English. So, you should drop in the next time for a better class. :)

Feb 28, 2012

Light Switches

The night lights she switches off...
and stares at the radium stars on her ceiling...
observes the wall painting she herself drew, in the dim green rays...
sheds a tear and exhales a heavy breath;

She, then, remembers the sweet romantic conversations,
which are soon to be replaced by spending the nights under another ceiling,
in the arms of the man she loves.

Her eyes not many can read for... with one she cries, the other she smiles...

Not the joker of the pack...

She's the bride-to-be!

PS: Wish life was like lights...A mere click could make us switch various modes.

PPS: The bride has much to handle in her new life, it's her family that has to go through the pain of her absence in their lives.

Images: Google

Feb 1, 2012

Priorities, People and Prayers

Sometimes, There's a time in life when all what you once wanted is offered to you;
The time for which you had once waited for, which you had dreamt of in every nap is happening; The time when your once made prayers are answered, exactly as they were asked for.

You feel happy that it reality. Yet, you don't enjoy it, for it doesn't matter to you now, anymore.

Priorities, People and Prayers change. For the better.

Life is like a cup...and for now, mine's filled to the brim with love, care, compassion, content, stability, sensibility.

There's that one soul for every soul, which completes it and complements it, such that external influences no more disturb the steady state. Like the inert molecules which needs no more electrons, and is not disintegrated even in the presence of adverse environment.

If I ever knew about stability, It was all theoritical and superficial.

It is this - this thing, deep in my heart - which I never knew existed. It is now IN me...Stability.

Even in the most hostile situations, the set of things that always worried me, scared me...We didn't falter!
Agneepath, our love passed. Crossed it with ease.

Your divine.
Your love defines me...creates me.

Mr. Nobody, With each day, you teach me love.

Jan 25, 2012

False perception

I thought I was tough for emergencies...

...Until I saw my Dad collapse (though only for a minute) to unconsciousness.

Dreaded Morning of 22.01.2012

When I once read Cholera could take lives due to dehydration, I wondered, 'Come on, Man! How can a few episodes of diarrhoea do this, especially when you'll anyways be increasing your fluid intake if you face such rice watery stools. And,'ve medicines available to control diarrhoea...Sporolac works so fine, Eno relieves the associated nausea, Rice-Curd mixture is so good, bananas will be at rescue.'

Ridiculing these situations in present times, I had ignorantly interpreted medicine textbooks.

Eight months back, when my Mom told me over the phone that Dad had become unconscious while in the toilet, and she has hospitalized him for some intravenous fluid administration, I concluded my Mom was being over-worried, and probably, I had become a bit more insensitive to illness. GI infection it was.

She was unable to understand how could a meager 4 episodes lead to such a situation. She was REAL worried, for she didn't want to lose him. He was the person who had loved her the most, defended her, praised her, and above all, the one who is with her no matter what happens. He was her partner. But, I felt she was taking the worry to an all-together new level, unnecessarily. Stolid, I was.

She left no stone him a Color Doppler for the carotids trying to locate if there's any deficit in supply to the brain; got him a 24 hour Holter ECG monitoring to find out if there's any pump defect; and got an Echo cardiogram done.

Reports were normal. This must have helped her ease the tension.

Cut it to this Saturday night...

Watery Stools...early morning....sometime around 4am...Mommy's shouting....'Teleeeeee! Teleeeee!'...the next moment I see my Dad sitting on the commode, his neck listlessly falling on Mom's chest, his hands hanging by the sides, and even with the 200 decibel shouting he refused to react.

That was enough to get me scared, shout, tremor, run amok....and know that no one's brave hearted when it comes to your dear ones.

I'm not Insensitive, Mom! I don't perceive so, anymore.

We revived him...A glass of water with a spoon of sugar and a pinch of salt...massaged his calf muscles to shift the blood reservoir of legs to central circulation...and raised his legs above the level of chest...made him have Electrol solution every 15 minutes...monitored his pulse...gave him Sporolac, antibiotics, vitamins, and easy to digest food.

The next morning, I was roaming around in the corridor, waiting for the Gastroenterologist to show up (On a Sunday) to rule out Carcinoid Syndrome. ;-)
Results negative. Relieved on one frontier, but tensed on another.
Don't want to let him stay alone...for any which purpose.

He's absolutely fine, now!

Jan 14, 2012

The Unthreaded Kite

In the heavenly clouds...
With the cool breeze...
In your constant company, Dear Cuckoo
I breathe the freedom.

Harsh winds motivate...
Rains wash my guilt away...
For now, I live on my own
how-so-ever brief that might be.

The vast architechture below...
Is so tiny to my liberation...
Cyclic redundance world adopted
When independence, I have attained.

Demise, though, mine is decided...
My own sways I make...
In your constant company, Oh Cuckoo
Before death, my life I'll live.

(On the eve of Makar Shakraanti, where my city's skies are flooded with kites)


On a tete-a-tete with myself...

What am I supposed to be doing? 
What was my genesis for?

...Inquisitive, these questions irk me, for I fail to reach an answer to them!

And some answers that I hit...

To love, to appreciate...
To create, to enjoy...
To celebrate, to behold...
To lighten, to understand...
To solve, to breathe...
In the clear skies above the borderless earth

To transcend, to tranquilize...
To connect, to discover...
That life was beyond working...
It was about living,
To my heart's core...
Not to give in to the demands of time.

To fly free, to swim in water currents
and in midst stopping for some strength and some air.

Yes, I live in two different worlds...of my brain and of my which tries to stuff in wiseness and the
other which enraptures me to beauty and content...

Not difficult to guess which you'll find me right now in, Isn't it?

Courtesy Google for Images!

Diary, 7th Jan'12

Reading was never so good. I somehow feel i wud like to continue reading my subjects more than i thot i was willing to.

And harrison has seriously become interesting. Like that.

The whole adventure of finding d ans and reading frm diff books is a challenge to mental capacity and intellect and i like it.

Tho, a few days back I was clearly pinning against it, infact wanting to sue the aiims ppl for not declaring the questions and their set of I think, if they hadn't done this, we would have never exercised our brains, and would hv easily mugged up those ans frm d guides out in market, like the majority still does, and cracks exams.

I don't know how my ppr will go, bt m happy for i hv gained knowledge, for d sake of gaining, and giving this xam. I hvn't prepared for clearing this xam, which my colleagues and family members criticize. But, the smart thing is obviously that which i am nt doing. When reading i can't just end up reading wat is asked. I end up reading it in detail. Although tht clears my basics, bt in the long run, keeping in mind the huge huge matter available, remembering and recalling isn't fruitful if u hv nt read selectively. Application is one thing tht this xam sure teaches us.

Phew! Anyways, I'll be having another set of exams in Jan and Feb, and then my Sisters marriage in March. Yes, I am geared up for the battle...i.e. Tomorrow.

And, maybe for every battle there on, for now I know and feel the power of medicine. And, I would rather not quit it. Instead, I'm on a whole diff angle, enjoying it. Yeah!! :)


Diary, 9th Jan'12:

Weeping in my quilt, I don't hv much to tell you...I have no idea what happened during those 210 minutes. I feel stunned, and after the last night news about the racket...I feel disgusted. Do I have a right to survive in this mean world of medicine without money? I was still happier, I was all inside me...heating up, accumulating up to burst right now. I feel even more lonely to leave this place at this moment, without a certainity, without a gone-good paper, without my partner...without any happiness at all.
I don't know if I would like to continue it any further. If my efforts are to see this day, I better not keep any hope. Cheated, I feel. Ruined, almost. Though, my knowledge is there with me, but with such betrayals, I feel like dumping it right here. Even if it would have been a bit better, only a bit, I wouldn't have bothered. Oh Phew! I just don't wanna write anymore...I just want to run away, far far away.


Wiseness it seems is in to continue...
Freedom though might be in breaking.

Sanity it appears lies in stability...
Pleasure though might seem in experimenting.

One moment this appeals, the other it dismays...
Stuck in between, my bipolar heart sways.

Bait of the Wait

The destiny changer is nearing fast...but the destined is moving slowly.
Calendar is changing dates...but the minute hand has dozed off.

I look at the clock, whose each grain I can distinctly see falling down the gravity to get lost in the heap...
...the way I would want to get lost in you.

The rain drops are taking shape and hitting the ground, to disintegrate into many a small pseudopods...
...the way I would want to embrace you like.

I can feel the heart opening up to accomodate the blood, to pulse it into the body with ziest and thrust...
...the way I would want to cling to you at your arrival.

The swooshing wave is dancing in air, to softly stroke the beach sand in its face...
...the way...Aha!

The dense fog is about to blinden me to all things unimportant...

It's you for whom I'm, in all eagerness, whiling time.

It's you for whom my destiny, Oh my destined, can be put to wait.

Courtesy Google for Image!