Jul 23, 2009

Procrastinator Speaks...

As I read this post @ Neophyte’s Blog,
I was dragged down into the dark dungeon, which had a brightly-illuminated, shiny something. A MIRROR.

It was as if reading about myself, the way I have survived the 4 years of my Medical School till now. I would not reiterate the way I did have a zeal during my high school. To achieve something, to perform well. No, To Excel in what-so-ever task assigned.

With my entrance into medical school, came a sense of carelessness, or rather, I would out it as - - > a sense of mediocrity.

Somehow, I didn’t feel like excelling, didn’t feel like being exceptional, but just being someone amongst the ordinary. Just another medical student.

I convinced (and consoled) myself by believing that I had actually been through this really-tormenting-stress-situation,(referring to the Pre-Medical Tests), which had taken a mammoth chunk of my energy and left me prostrated.
And like a women, who has gone through recent labour, I wanted to rest, and replenish, and regain my energy with time, so that I am prepared for another pregnancy ..errm…..Another such arduous task, some time later.

Even a female takes 2-3 years to be back in form, But, I just couldn’t.

All these 4 years (the time I was supposed to be recharging myself with the ‘will to be extraordinary’) I has such fun, had such an easy life. A life, I have fallen completely in love with. The life where I talk, have fun, with friends, all ‘sans’ the turn-off component – Studies. It lured me into a place where I started procrastinating.

I agree, I never had it by default.
But, now, it just seems to be an essential-added-feature of the new version (Beta version of Tele! – Medica version of Tele !! )

Such is this long-acting drug, that it has reached rocket-high levels in my blood, and I have become psychologically dependent. (And, to confess, actually-physiological dependence too has started culminating)

Once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator !

I would not like to believe it, But, I have to accept, this DOES happen.

I have deferred my studies, so many times, for such long times, that I have been stationed at a particular point. << Feels like being stagnant through ages. >>
And also, to note, I have required my friends, the current of water, which have pushed me some meters away from my previous points. And, now, I always need a constant optimum push from them.

I have become so much disabled, that I have forgotten my own-inherent-ability to drift.

Or, would say, have kept it dormant. Consciously & willingly & deliberately.

I do get up from this sleep, occasionally, only to discover that a book in hand, thoughts in mind, and a somewhere-else wandering brain, does no good. And alas, end up hibernating again.

For the past few months, I have been awake. ( I would-like-to-believe-so)
Awake, as regards Studies. Have tried to do some tit-bits, at damn slow speed. * I appreciate that, at-least, I have been in motion!
~ Although, the relative motion graph pictures me clearly losing the battle, but, I am MORE-THAN-HAPPY.

Witnessing the change in me over this period, I thought that, Hey, I really am outta the ‘Procrastinating Phase’.
But, No.
If it wasn’t acads, it had to be something else.
This something else – happens to be my Research.

Over-zealously, I started this stuff,
maniacally, I fought for it (during my the thence going ‘University Pre-Final exams’)
and impractically scheduled it for Final Part-2.
The toughest year of any medic’s life. Not to forget, the cruelest, the meanest, the the morale-shatterer & the psychiatric-disease inducer.

Research made me re-search for the procrastinating element of my soul.

And here I am, after having discovered it, am wearing this good-old-attire of mine & not been doing my self-chosen job since the past 3 weeks.

I have been left with very less time & lots of work.
And to add to it, the pressure of one more dream project of mine – The College Magazine work is keeping me on my toe-nails.

All this is seriously gonna kill me, or at-least stupor me once. Very soon indeed.

I, praying-ly hope, that I successfully overcome the procrastinator in me & rise from the ashes !! (Ala Phoenix !)


Jul 18, 2009

Hello, Am Back! Hopefully...

Work,Posting,College,and Studies (~My liabilities),and to some extent,'My letter-eating-keyboard' have kept me away from Blogging.

Sorry People.

But,I couldn't (din't wanto) exert myself in hitting the same letter, some 5-6 times, in order to be able to see it on the screen.
Forget letters, the SpaceBar irritated methemost.

See,it is still not functioning in the standard 'healthy manner'.
But,still I am frustrated enough, for not having written anything since long..and I have consciously decided for this torture to myself. (Actually, a Pleasure!)

*Whatever happens, the Space should be always there, functioning.
It makes everything sweet & worthwhile. (Its the Key to keep a Blog running...and Life.)

Repairing the Keyboard of nime,I did a nistake...I have put the 'M' key at 'N's place and vice-a-versa. Norom, I an! ;-)
And,I conclude that opening the whole board for such a petty thing is so boring.I neam, Mean...It's not going to cause much problem.
I hope you people will understand my time-constraints,and my inability to bore myself with such a task.

I have many tasks to be done,you see...

*Buying a new watch for myself.

*Listen to songs on my New MP3.

*Sleep around for 9 hours daily.

*Talk on the phone for 4 hours at-least.

*Watching 'Rakhi's show'... (Yaar,Sometimes even I want to have a hearty laugh, and what better non-sense to watch than this.)

*Watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. at 12 in night,till 1, or till my Mum comes out of her room (with all wired-up hair,eyeballs not visible due to the bright light which dazzles her) and reminds me of the class next morning (for which,I have asked her to get up at 6:00, and continuously nag at me, so that I can get ready for the class @ 8.)

(My latent period/ reflex action time has risen tremendously.
From the few minutes, in school, its now been in hours,since the last 2 months.)

And,it has done nothing,but helped me miss most of my lectures.
And helped me reach half an hour late,in an hour's class.
And, helped me sing a song to the class,as a punishment task.

(It ain't a good idea to torture/punish the sincere-95-fellas for landing in time,by making me sing a 'fultoo-Hindi-Romantic-number',that too for a Whole Minute!)

Poor fellas, I am sorry.Sorry for making you listen to a sur-and-taal-deficient song.In a croaking-and-melody-less voice of mine.Malingning the song which you all dearly love- "Suraj Hua Maddham". I am SORRY.

See,Now I know why Sir made me sing it. So that I feel guilty.
And,I am.
Or am I not?
Hey,I think I am not.
Of course,I am not guilty.
WHY should I feel this way?
I just discovered a new talent of mine.
I showcased it in front of an audience of near-100.
I need a treat.
And, I need to thank sir, for finding this pearl from the vast ocean in me.


Jul 9, 2009


True love cannot be found where it truly does not exist,
Nor can it be hidden where it truly does.

Jul 7, 2009

What an IDEA Sirjee !!

Have loved all these Socially relevant and phenomenal advertisements...

(Some credit does go to Mr. Abhishek Bachchan,
coz of his naughty eyes that make me go wooow!,
and his baritone that statues me,
and his...Hey, com'on, I am not gonna write why I love him!)
Let's get back to my reason for writing this here.

Be it the 'mobile' identity of an individual, or the right to education 'for all', or the 'janta ki awaaz'.They have conveyed some strong messages,and devised some very good solutions.

One more in line, and indeed, a very very important 'healthy' ta(i)p-e is out.


ermm...I have a story of myself to it.

I actually have had this habit.Of walking while I talked.
Be it a basic landline phone or a mobile.It was during my 11th standard that I developed it.I used to walk in the gallery whence on phone.
Don't know how and when it became a habit, but, do remember- My Mum used to scold me for this.
It was probably as, thence she din't know,how-important-a-health-tip-it-was! ;-)
I used to actually irritate her by moving around a particular place and,that too in a particular pattern.
...You know the way the kids don't touch a line,or walk in the squares,or walk on a line (erm..like checking If I have ataxia!). Yeah,I used to do this while talking.

Many of my friends and family members thought that the weird act was just another proof of my being crazy (I am preventing myself from disclosing the true word they used.) 'Insane'!
Yeah,they were.
Or rather,Unaware of the ingeniousness that bubbled in me.
See, had they ever paid head to my acts, they would have been the proud discoverer of this health tip.
Of course, Serendipity, it would have been.
But,nah...it was left for my AB junior to do it.
And, see ...
Am I complaining?
NOOOO....am not.

But,people around me are! :-D

Just wondering, whether people ever follow these tips/ try to implement these social do's around them??
If they would,it would be a much better place to live in...

After all,An !dea can change your life...
Kyun Sirjee??

You Can !

* This poem is special for me. Reason being, It is the very poem that my Dad had sent me during my testing time (@ PMTs) and I used to ignite the fire in me by reading this. And this very poem is what He has sent to my brother, who too is going thru this phase (Only the difference being, he's preparing for IITs. Thank God for that!)
Some things run in tradition. And it's so good to be able to follow them.
Lately, I have been doing a lot of this motivational lecture thing...My brother loves to listen to me, and whenever he's a bit uncomfy with on-going things, or is unhappy with his study pattern or results, or just a bit tensed, he rings me up to just listen to me. He is the one who makes me feel the existence of an Elder-Sis in myself. It is so pleasing to see yourself being looked up at.I hope, am helping you babes! I love You Bhai!!

Here it goes....

If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don’t!

If you like to win, but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost;
For out in the world we find
Success being with a fellow’s will;
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger and faster man,
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can!


Jul 2, 2009


Completely stranded and isolated from the world.
And It felt bad.
No net connection.
No phone (my landline got dead & my mobile's speaker's got a virus...whateva i speak is not transmitted to the other side.)
No blogging.
No orkutting.

Hey, I felt like in a prison last four days.

I have become habitual (I am not using addicted here, as I am not.I did survive without it,you see...without any withdrawal symptoms!!)to these facilities of life!

And,I am back.:-)