May 25, 2010


'Cocoon breaks, and a beautiful butterfly is, thus born.'
It loves its new look, new beauty. Is excited about the changes.
And is enthralled of what is in-store for her.

Metamorphosis. Changes in appearance, along with some maturity in the inner spheres.

Have been through one.

Years of my kiddishness, innocence, and naturalness was waned off in a matter of an hour.
Robbed off, of the dead filaments that once quietly perched on the domains of the eyebrow, around the lips, and on the limbs.
A relief?? Is it?
Well, whilst I was going through it...It was tough. But, ain't it, that its the pressure and temperature that the coal has to endure so that it transforms into the glistening worthy diamond??
Am not trying to put it, that I have become one!! Clear ?? :-P    ;-)
Clear hai ??
Yeah, The facial hair have been discarded, and it's lot clearer than before.
Not that it was far too crowded before. But, it adds to the refreshing neat look, that women usually are expected and desired to have!! ;-)
Now, does that mean, I put forward my credentials for being a woman ?? ;-)
well, whateva you consider!!

The ice-packs required to settle down the oedema and the redness, was definitely a relief.

But, somehow, I feel guest to my own skin.
It instills in me the feeling of being given a 'Maturity Potion'.
Suddenly, the never touched face has been tampered with.
It probably adds woman-ness to me!!

And I, seriously, pretty much don't love it. (the adult-ness part!)

But, sooner than later, I'll fall for it.
I know!! ;-)

PS: Abt the inner soul and strength changes... still going through!!
Would word them later!! ;-)

May 23, 2010


The latest piece of work, that perches high on the walls of Mum-Dad's bedroom, brushes eternity.

~An embodiment of the eternal love between Mum and Dad, as they complete 25 beautiful ages of compassion and complementariness, later this year.

~And more essentially, a memorial of the eternal love between them and us. 

It's Love we paint. 
And, it's Love we add to this room. 

Years later, when we won't be there to hug you personally; 
when we won't be there to kiss you 'Happy Anniversary', 
we'll yet be there...On the walls. Diffusing the love in the air,
Innocently adding colors to your heart,
Making the flowers bloom.
And Loving you forever more.

Just the smallest gift we could ever give, 
and the biggest gift they could have got - 
'An expression of the emotion they've spent their lives for... '

May 21, 2010


Back from the duties, apron-clad, steth-wriggling-on-the-neck, I drive down the roads, at burning hours of the day. Am almost the lone one, on the tarred pathway.
Almost, till an occasional soul is seen crossing this barren area, all into himself. Eyeing me fiercely. I avoid him, and drive at a fairly good speed, safely allowing him enough space to carry on with his crossing business. 
Fiery red eyes, burning with anger, of paranoid proportions. Head held high, in proud of 'God knows what' ! He stopped. And as I neared him, could see the immensely male-chauvinistic attitude, 'the kind which blinds them to believe that they are Gods!' The psycho-maniac tendency of treating a women as their class-IV subordinates! The high testosterone circulation phase, where Superhumanly qualities hallucinate! The angst, the mania, the psychology surfaced and he threw his hand, to hit me with all his vigor. 

Though the last nano-second reflexes saved me, and he could not even touch me. Gaining balance, as I drove, a few feet away, I screamed and shouted. Hit my fist, hard on my scooter handle.

Some slang words, some sort of temper shown to self. Some bad taste to the tales that I have with the roads, and the roadies. Why is it 'ALL' that I do when such an incident happens? Why!! 

Oh!! How I wish I had the strength to go and hit him back!
How I wish I was not a GIRL!
How I wish the sub-conscious areas could have left me free, and not remind me that I  have a pair of an 'always anxious' Mom-Dad, an 'extremely worried' Granma-pa, and a 'cute-kiddish' elder sister, and a 'super-caring' brother.
Why did you ever tell me Dad, that stay away from such creatures? Ignore them. Don't enter in any kind of disputes with any such rowdy-male-villagers.

It was my hospital area. My very own territory. 
Why did I not turn back? 
Coz I'm not designed for it?
Coz this is what girls are not expected to do? 
coz They have to just accept things?

Till when!!

Till when will I have to gulp such indecent acts? 

Till when will I have to hear those stupid-derogatory comments, from a group of college-going guys, who think that they are the 'only ones' who have the Right to freedom of speech, and shout their opinion on every girl passing by? (Bastard Assholes!!) 

Till when will I have to catch that glimpse of some s**-hungry eyes, who consider every girl as a sexual commodity? (Sadistic Animals!!) 

Till when will I have to refrain myself from hitting such guys/men, only cause they have nothing to lose, and I have nothing to gain, except the enmities, and add to the mental trauma to my family?

Till when!! 

May 16, 2010

Wake Up !

Its plainly funny and idiotic to bump into a person, who refuses to see the truth, and continues to live in the make-believe world of one's own.
Even after numerous explanations, shouts, screams, ignorance, and threats... If someone refuses to let the veil fall down, and face the reality....

I Simply Don't Give a Damn!! :D

Get real !!

Wake Up, You're no more in your dream !!

Letters of Innocence...

' Mom, you know na that I love you, I am sorry that I was rude to you.' 

'I cannot live without her, She's my strength, my power. I don't want to live alone here.'

'I am proud to have had two mothers. Mom, Daadi is just great.'

'Please, do not come back here. When you come, I lose my focus. You want me to fulfill your dreams na?? Please do come back again.' 

'You know what plans I have for bhai. Please do not leave him at this moment.'

'Tiny's so bad. She doesn't care about me. She hits me, at the slightest of a fun on her.'

To my Mom.
Year 2003-04-05
When I was in my high school, preparing for the medical entrances, At Kota.

Innocence. Love. Sacrifice. Motivation. Solace.

Just bumped onto them. My mom has kept them as if they are gold, and diamonds. Wrapped in a polythene, over which she has put two layers of cloth. *Ohh ! How lovely Moms are!!

Used to post her a letter every month. :)
Had a personal mobile phone there, but writing letters was Bliss.
-An enticing experience altogether.

Writing a letter in the spontaneity of the moment...
Repeatability. Incorrect grammar at places. Every sentence starting with 'Maa'.
'Lucky to have you as parents.'
'You mean life to me.'
'I'll take care of her.' (TJ Snr)
Some complaints, when we two sisters used to fight.
Some explanations, when I was rude.
Certain confessions.
Certain fears. And insecurities.
A test gone bad. Unhappy.
The time of examinations nearing... Restlessness.
The fear of not being able to prove.
The burden of expectations.

Every instance was preserved.
And, Indeed, every emotion.


May 12, 2010

Out-Patient Departments !! OPDs

Obstetrics and Gynaecology:

> Enter at 8:15 am, and get a scolding for being late. (even though, not a single patient is visible! ) :-D

> Sit down, and fill forms for investigations. (CBC, S.HBsAg, S.VDRL, U/C, X-Ray, HIV)
*--  wuhoo, my colleague send a pregnant female for a Chest X-Ray !! (Had to listen to lots of 'appreciation', from 'chuhiya' mam!! - Apparently it was his first day on duty, and he was so pissed off by the immense swarm of people hovering over him, that he handed someone else's X-ray form with her name!!)

> Fill in some BPL forms. (BPL=Below Poverty Line)
*-- It is tiring. Check the details on their card, crosscheck it with the form, confirm that the relative is genuinely entitled to receive the benefits, sign the form, and send them to another teacher for verification and signatures!! :-D

> Track down the patients who are being admitted, and take samples.

>. Fill in more investigations forms. And direct them to the Blood Bank for tests.
*-- Directions!! I'll die if I am made to do this, even for 2 consecutive days

> Do Beta-HCG Urine Pregnancy Tests.
* Tell each patient to go, 'FIND A TOILET', and collect some urine and bring it to us. 'ONLY A TOILET',.....Tell that 4 times!!

> Keep on scribbling, and fill in more forms for providing medicines to BPL people.

> Rush to the wards, and send the new admissions for investigations.

> Find out the HPE reports, enter them, re-enter them, and give it to the patients.
*My pen dies an untimely death. Grief !!

> If lucky, enter the P/V room, and write down what Ma'm or the R-2 or the R-3 'discovered in their examination.
*With their pen! ;-)

> Fill the Pap Smear forms.

> And, If damn lucky....Get to take a Pap Smear!! :-)

> If Born lucky, get to drink a sip of water!! Aaaahhh!!



>Enter at 9:30am. Sit in front of an air-cooler.
*Those who wish to go, can leave almost instantaneously!! :-D

> One has the liberty to sit calmly, and catch a nap also.
*Others can just spend some quality time observing the patients, their attitudes, grimaces, and gait, and direct the occasional one/two to the surgeons.

> Some overzealous people dare to enter the MOT. :-D
*98% faint. (2% =  Tele and Spongy)

> Dress some wounds.
*We hate nudity, and strongly condemn it. And, we are doing our bit against it, by mummifying the wounds, and waiting for a burial like Tuttun-khamen! :-D

> Help a patient pee. :-D
*Insert foley's catheter.

> Stitch the injuries-(cuts and lacerations).
* Tailoring Job.

> Clean the patient of all the dirt and splashed blood. -Be it anywhere, even if not at the site of injury.
* Some spa work.

> Horse-riding!! ;-)
hehe...tht's for the anal fissures, and fistulas to be dressed!! ;-)

> Do some repairs.
*ala the Mechanic!! :D

> Some biopsies.
*Drilling like the miners.

> If Born UN-lucky... Get samosas, mirchibadas, kachoris to eat, and lassi, chaach, cold drinks, slice to drink.

> If Lucky...Get to eat LUNCH!! -Hotel ka!!...with paneer and naans !! *yummy
* Actually, had a CME !! haha!!


Tele says: Take surgery, stay happy, Eat happy, Stay healthy, and above all--ENJOY BITS OF ALL OTHER PROFESSIONS!! ;-)


How can one be blind and brainless, while deciding for their own lives?

And how stubborn can anyone be?

Know, yet not realize the truth, or accept it?


Isn't it illegal to search for a new master, when you are still possessed by another?


How-so-ever bad a dear-one is, can you stop belieiving their promises that they will change??

And can you ever stop to care for them??

How can you fool the one, who knows it all ?

Each temple I visit,
and Each God I see,

...You rise in a mist,
and stay within me.

#faith #peace #realization of being lucky & being loved

May 10, 2010

The Storm within...

The Storm within the confines,
All ready to burst in a while.
The clicks, the misses,
The past of the presence,
The likely, and the uncertain,
where the memories'll always remain.

Spontaneity, am taming.
And, within me, am keeping,
the truth and the lies,
the places where my mind flies.
Waiting for the one,
who'll decipher the codes.
Silence will be spoken,
To crack and reach my cores,
Where lives this dream of mine-
Of love and emotion...
Of understanding and devotion...
Of osmosis and dissolution,
and two souls in unison.

Didn't want to rush so fast,
but, people say, 'Times don't last.'

And so do not- the love and the bitterness,
'Rush dear, and do not miss their harness.'
Bitterness will fly, and love will perch,
Wait for the time, when emotions will surge.
Dormant within, one can focus for some-time,
They'll sit silently on the tongue, yet mime.
Reading them, is what you already know,
When 'Vulnerable' is what you read, give a Show.
The truth can never be triumphed over,
'Beyond love', nothing can ever hover...

__Beyond Love !!

May 1, 2010


Victory over spontaneity,

Streamlining the thoughts

Calmness in actions....

...the 'minimum' three pre-requisites before I tag myself 

'Sensible or Mature'.