Apr 15, 2010

'Figuring' Myself !

(Disclaimer: All the facts stated here are not merely a figment of imagination, or an attempt at comedy. They are damn true. Any resemblance to a person i.e. me is not incidental, but consciously deliberated, for entertainment purposes. Kindly portray the caricature, as described.)

Mirror, Mirror. On the Wall,
The truest one and the bitter too,
Am I a princess or a Doll?
Say the truth, as you always do.


Mirror:

The short stature you have,
is the asymmetrical IUGR.

The Broadness is the one that led to abnormal labour to your mother.
Shoulder dystocia.

The broad forehead and the number of stitch scar marks on it, are the ideal place for the pediculous capitis to play ice-cricket.
(Howwzaat ? B-a-ld !! )

The slit like eyes, and the overwhelming perorbital oedema, not only renders you the fame of being a live, for-ever Nephrotic Syndrome specimen, but also questions your ethnicity, and your genotype! (Mongoloid facies- Down's !!)

The short-broad-square palms with the perfect cushions ever, and the short-stout digits that rest on it, are the ones designed to hurt you least, while doing the best (worst) thing in Obstetrics: Ante-natal Check Up. (Hey, am talking about the 400 BP measurements that happen on that day.)

The rat-like inturned ear pinna you have, is your asset to hear only what you need to, conveniently dropping most of the instructions hurled at you by the residents and the teachers. You have the ears for Stethoscopic listening. Retaining only those sounds that are directly put into them.

The surface marking mummified dummy you have been -'coz of the see-through clavicle and the eye-catching Angle of Louis- helped the whole lot of '05 girls to clear their anatomy examinations. (Though, Only for the Head and Neck and Upper Trunk Region! )

Saying anything about anything else, is not required. 'Coz it probably doesn't exist. (Second what your batchmates think.) *Now, I know if people do eye in those realms, it could be 'coz of lack of it.

The hypertrophied gluteaus and the hypertrophied calves, (the results of reading in MBBS and the results of running behind and for the patients, respectively.) are your identity.

Webby feet, creating the doubt of you having polydactyly, and the shabby footwear on them, are a testimony to the old Marwari saying, ' pag chota sapoot ra, aur pag chauda kapoot ra!' - Good children have small feet, and the large-wide feet are the characteristic of Rowdy Kids. (On the basis of their attitude/ behaviour towards parents.) *Shabby footwear- attributed to the different varitey of feet I have, which is not supported by any wide range and variety of any footwear brands.

Mirror, Mirror. On the wall,
The truest one and the bitter too,
After looking and seeing all,
With the verdict, here I go.

Mathematics would love you,
Asymmetry and Disproportions.
Medicine would accept you,
Diseases and Specimens.
Art creates you.
A turned sour one.

Mirror, Mirror. On the wall.
Here, It says it All. 
You're a both, a princess at heart,
and a Doll at thinking.

:-)

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