Loved the article here....
https://rukminiguevara.medium.com/why-not-making-room-for-mistakes-is-your-biggest-mistake-d2317a973614
I realized that, me and my husband are both intolerant to making mistakes. We like saying things once/ doing things once- and expect others to follow suit. We also are difficult people who rarely accept our own mistakes. Consideration about the other's mental state or situation comes only with people who are new to us. Once we know a person, we have a base set, a perception, a story, a judgement already imprinted in our brain, and we are intolerant. To each other - the most.
Leaves us both in an unhealthy relationship - anger, unmet expectations, unsaid emotions, disappointment at unreached targets. And maybe, we are doing the same to our kids- not accepting that they might be going through something internally which we might be unaware of. Also, with our parents- Me and my mother's relation is definitely of this kind.
Some excerpts of this article which I would like to keep for further reading:
"Being exposed to an abundant source of pressure whether from family, friends, society, or even ourselves, has established a set of bounds in our minds, one being that there is no room for mistakes. It is a deeply ingrained mindset as a type of measurement to meet certain expectations. Otherwise, we beat ourselves for it as a consequence. “I shouldn’t have said that. I should’ve done this. I’m so dumb. Why did I do that? Why did I say that? I hate myself.” We tend to be hard on ourselves even for mistakes with minimal to no aftereffect. This may be a matter of low self-esteem or the intense need for approval. We forget that it is in our very nature as humans to make mistakes. Although aiming high is not necessarily a bad thing, constantly doing so could take a toll on your mental health, lifestyle, and relationships.
Succumbing to your fears and letting it control you, means denying yourself the opportunity to explore and thrive. As the popular saying goes, these mistakes are building blocks to success. It supports you to live your life to the fullest as it replaces your fears with strength and enthusiasm.
If you do make a mistake, embrace your flaws and vulnerability. Yes, recognizing your weaknesses is terrifying, but this means even if you know you suck at something, you choose to believe in yourself and take action to make progress. It’s also important to allow your loved ones to make mistakes. And if they do, develop a genuine understanding. It can be difficult to feel neglected by your significant other. But if you immediately react negatively, you might convey a sense of judgment or lack of understanding. So, you should not easily dismiss them but rather communicate your issues and concerns and give them the chance to learn, to be held accountable, and to grow from their mistakes. It’s also helpful to ask yourself, “Is their mistake bigger than my love for them?” Once you’ve thought about it long and hard, that’s the time you decide your verdict. These mistakes are opportunities to develop one’s mentality and skills. Committing mistakes is not the end of the world, it’s a lesson that reminds us we have room for improvement.
At some point in our lives, we are all bound to disappoint ourselves as well as others, but that’s not to say it’s entirely a negative circumstance. When we have to admit we’re wrong or we’ve been wronged, most of us mope a little but eventually, we move past it. Regardless of who committed a mistake, how you respond to these situations is always your choice. But if you don’t make room for mistakes, then you’re also hindering yourself from making room for improvement.
