Emergency Duties

The duties, apparently, had only emergency in its name, and its place, i.e Emergency Center of the Hospital.

The patients who registered their presence, had either come to show their reports, or get their BP checked, or to  get some injections administered, or to get blood tranfused. A few of them, had come to get ascites treated (@ OBG !! referred them to Medicine), and some had come to get their breast diseases evaluated ( referred them to Surgery dept.). A few had come 'cause they had started to have the labor pains/ leaking per vaginum (admitted to Labor room)
In all, what an emergency means here, is the procedure of getting admission, either to the wards, or to the labor room.

Advantage Me:  Learnt Per Vaginum examination. Theoritically knew it, but doing it on patients, is seriously an another world, alltogether.
Earlier, was too apprehensive of hurting the patients, hence, did a very very gentle examination (Read as: Just entered and without touching the walls, finished it.)
Thence, just felt the vaginal walls, and could not even feel the cervix, and out.
Then, touched the os, and out. (as if that was a reptile and would retaliate back, and sting me.) :-D
Then, entered the cervix, and Voila ! felt the fetal membranes. (smoothly sliding)
Finally, evaluated the dilatation of cervix, and felt the vertex of the fetus (granular feel to the tip-due to hairs) and was lucky enough to have a breech presentation (felt the soft buttocks, and also could identify some small fetal parts (which I suppose so, were the feet, or could be the fetal genitalia.)

PV is definitely not fun.
Neither for the doctor, and Never for the patient.
The force with which you try to enter your fingers in, and the depth you wanna reach, It all feels weird. Poking  in.
Exploration of the cavity is the only attraction that keeps me going.

:-)

OPD Tomrw !!

PS: Emergency Sign Board :    ;-)

Make Over !

Even If time didn't allow Me a make-over,

This blog did.


How do you find this template ?

Intern - Rs 3,500 p.m.

If you're making us work like Dogs,


at least pay us like Puppies.

Insanely Freaking !!

Yeah, that's the appropriate synonym for the day that passed by. 

Day 2, LR Evening Duty.

Started with a Breech delivery (I missed witnessing it!) of an Anencephalic child. (clicked a lot many pics) :-)

An almost psychopath lady who, on the labour table, refused to let us touch her, and when R1 (resident-1st year) tried to help her with an episiotomy incision, she let her legs go to hit R1 smack on her chest. Violently insane she was. VIP treatment she had, with 3 nursing staff, a R1 and an intern, all in her service. :-D She finally delivered, but the episiotomy closure was the hell of a task. Earlier it was for the sake of her child, that she had mellowed down, but, Now, Huh! (In the meanwhile, we had some more deliveries and the staff had gotten busy. We were in need of some empty tables, and she wasn't co-operating. We had called for some sedatives, and anti-anxiety drugs to facilitate our work, and while they were being procured, R2 asked me to go and calm her down. (What! She wants me, end up beaten!! ) *But, Do what your senior says. No Ifs, No Buts. Whateva it might me. Just do. 

Talked to this lady, in my rotten-marwari, told her, its only after anesthetising that v'll stitch you up. It's not going to pain. And If it does, tell us, Don't hit. It is for your own good. 

Aaannnnnd ....she agreed. 

But, only when I do it, myself. (Ha ha. It only confirmed the fact that 'She was insane'. She wanted an intern like me, to stitch her up. With me doing that job, she would be having her vagina open into urethra, and cervix  closed. I mean, I can do anything, and everything wrong !)

Anyways, consoled her to get it done by the R1, and stood there beside her, all the while. 

A helluva task accomplished. (seriously.)

 

Learned taking samples. Learned breaking bad news to relatives. (Two pre-diagnosed intra-uterine foetal deaths) Saw a pre-term delivery (1 Kg child) Learned the endocervical application of PGE2. (was being done for a congenitally malformed fetus, a post-term pregnancy, an IUD) 

Saw another case, of septic shock. Ran to the ICU to get hydrocortisone, patient saved. 

Also saw, what position a female child has in the minds of people. As soon as she delivered, and saw the female child, she shouted, 'Daakan aayi gi' (A witch has come) 

What followed was a Super-lovely speech by our head nurse. And she was forced to say,' Sorry. I will never say it again.' 

Emergency duty today. 

*Had a chance to conduct a delivery, all by myself. But, it was about time that duties changed, and the R3's wrath was better prevented. 

First LR duty as an intern

As a student, what I did maximum was observe the labour, see a few deliveries, and be back home in an hour or so. Never touched a particular thing there! Anyways. The point now is:

How is it being in the Labour Room for 6 hours duty, as an intern?

Nursical (din't do anything more than what a nurse can do. Infact, the nurses were teaching me stuff, like breaking the ampoule, giving a IV injection, starting a drip, restarting a blocked drip, changing cannulas, running out to call the pediatrician, calling for the relatives to bring the desired medications from stores !!)

Clerical (making entries of the deliveries and abortions, putting notes at the history sheet)

Obstetrical (tho, only for a brief period of time, but, that was indeed consoling) - Checking the dilataion, crowning, putting cathethers, checking for proteinuria, APPLYING FUNDAL PRESSURE. (there were some ladies who had absolutely no ability to push, henceforth, the fundal pressure was applied. Violent jerks were given with the fisted hands, to assist the expulsion. (I learned it in the first, and did it satisfactorily in the second such case! yippie!) holding the babies... held three such neonates in the baby trays.
Saw a PIH case, lots of abortions, and D&Cs, saw another patient who was brought very ill- had severe rigors and feeble pulse, unrecordable BP. (was saved!)

*Just a sad ending I had: the last case we handled, we couldn't save the baby. congenital anomaly (massive Hepatosplenomegaly) and he had an occassional heart, and no respiration since the delivery. Tried a lot resuscitating the baby, but, cudn't. Still Birth.

* A lot of spontaneous deliveries happened today- 3 deliveries took place on the bed itself.
(And all I think, is because of the not so good resident, who was negligent enough to not carry out the P/V regularly) But, not their mistake altogether: Coz the patients cry all the time, and most of the times just for the sake of catching the attention, and not because they are about to deliver. :-D

!Anyways, Peace.!

Repeat duty tomrw !!

Read it somewhere....

Love is the opening of the heart, the welcoming of your beloved. 


Loving is not secure, authentic.


 Loving is risky. 


Security lies behind the walls of a closed heart. 


You either invite the union by opening in love, or you secure the isolation by closing down.

Gangaur !

Simmering on the gas stove, the 'churma' (a sort of a sweet dish of Rajasthan) was diffusing its mesmerizing sweet smell. And with it, the memories. The sweet ones. When she was merely 5 years old, and the different and varied delicacies made on this festival used to make her loll her tongue. The churma, the 'bathua'. And, the stories about how Ishar Ji fooled Gauri Mata, and disguised as a shoe-seller only to catch a glimpse of his beloved. And after staying away for a considerable time from his wife, swept the winds in the opposite direction, and used his powers to bring autumn in the season of spring. Ishar Ji came to take her back home, and played  a prank. He was offered lunch, and in a momentum of fun, did not leave anything behind. Not even a single grain was left. All was sitting comfortably in Ishar Ji's wide, big stomach. Gauri Mata was forced to gulp down only a ball of 'bathua' with glasses of water. The granny's way of telling a story. The small kids listening keenly to her. The cute expressions, astonished, giggling, the occassional 'awww!'s, and the very frequent 'then?'s. The granny's smile. Wide enough to reach her eyes, and create a thousand folds at the angles. Sweet memories.


Sweet memories. When she did not even know what a soulmate means. And still kept the fast, coz the ritual of creating that 'Ishar Ji ki Dhoti' and 'Gauri Mata ka lehenga' with the container of water, excited her. Every year, she would wait for the evenings to come, on that particular day, when all the kids of the house would run for the exteriors, carrying their own 'lotas'. Then they would spin around a point and centrifuge the water, and create that lehenga. She would do that a hundred times. The fresh breeze of air that hit her face, the smell of the wet mud, the waters ....Memories.


Sweet Memories. When the prayers had silently taken a form. Form of not Ishar Ji, but that of her crush. She would visualize this person when her lids met in prayers. And a sweet smile would be seen sitting proudly on her face. She would argue when the elders used to ask her about marriage, but her mother could catch that naughty smile and happy glint in her eyes, while arguing. She would explain her 'dream of her man' with utmost exhilaration, and would want him to be smart, and respect her, would allow her to visit her home every now and then, would laugh at her jokes, would bring gifts for her.. and she would dress like a queen....Memories...


Sweet Memories. When what she prayed was, for the 'stable-ness of her relation'. She had that blush on her cheek, the happiness could no longer be concealed in her voice. He, despite eating non-veg very frequently, had not only turned veg that day, but had also kept a fast. The person who could never stay hungry for even a matter of minutes, had stayed hungry all day long. Amidst the whole fan-fare at home, she had quietly found a corner, and rang him up. The first bite was gulped down only when she had sworn that she has had her food. Memories... Of her love.


'Ufff !' She cried in pain. She had touched the burning hot utensil, on stove.


A young lady she had become. Draped in a chiffon-white chudidaar-kurta, hair following the curves of her body, a charming face, with those neatly cut features, the kajal dressing her big eyes, she stood transfixed.
The Gangaur was here. But, the prayers had once again taken the form of Ishar Ji. Age had turned her sensible. She had been busy all day long in her routine. She lived alone, for her job. She did not have her mother near her, to make that churma. It was 6 in the evening. She was preparing the 'thali' for her 'puja'. She was all ready to eat, but there was no bathua. She had searched for it, at numerous places, but she could not find it. And without bathua, she could not have opened her fast. It was a  ritual.


Here she lay...Empty stomached. The hands had run a number of times over the telephone. A certain number had been dialed and disconnected. Once and twice and again, and again. She wished the emotional distance could be crumbled. She hoped the enmity of the egos be resolved. . .


She forced her mind to drift from this. Finally, after some attempts, she gained her senses, and consoled herself that it was nothing but bad luck.


Luck or conspiracy ?


Is Ishar Ji angry with me? 




She could not hold it anymore. It had to leave a mark. The next moment, a black trail was etched on her face...

Gangaur Teej !

Gangaur teej is nothing but a festival of India, where women and girls keep a fast, for the day, and open their fast after  having a particular type of boiled leaf.

(Doesn't it appear, that you are reading some Indian Heritage Blog ??) haha

Why I pen it here is, because today is Gangaur, and I am fasting.
Hey, besides, lemme tell you what is the story or rather, cut it short, I'll directly tell you wat the purpose is.
It is a festival where-in the fast and pooja is for praying to God to give the girls the ideal hubby, and to thank Him for the perfect hubby women got (or pray for their long-life!)

So, I am fasting today in hope of getting a hubby like the God himself.
(But, it shud be some light years from now...seriously !!)

Anyways, A good news my way: I started my Internship today. (18th March.2010)

Despite the conspiracy that the University people did (Enrolled two students by the same number, and then, withheld our results.), despite the un-co-operation the Babus at University showed (refused to help us out in any possible way they could), and despite the ruddiness of our very own Academic Head (did not approve of starting the internship on a provisional basis), I started it.
Thanks to our very own Acharya Ji and Ram Kumar Ji (the only babus in the whole world who are utmost helping, and stay with you through thick and thin. KUDOS !! ) and also a very big thanks to Doctor DSC (A personality that might not be good for some people, but he has always been sooo helpful and soo caring in my case.)

Thanks a lot people...

Btw, I start OBG.

Tele says: 2 months of hell. :-D

What the days have been...

since my last clinical of the final year ended...!!

- Read and finished this book in a matter of 2 days - Catcher in the Rye (J.D.Salinger's book left me un-satisfied. Was yearning for something good, all the time. Which whenever came, was shooed away almost immediately.)

- Heard my relatives woes on what part of their body hurts, and their complete histories...which starts almost from the day they were born, and encompasses all the specialities. -Med.Surg.Derma.ENT.Opthal.!!

- Got my results for the finals. (Passed it! Was in 7th heaven when the University 'Yamraj' called and landed me into the Results Waiting due to technical problems section. Crap. Got to know what it is like having to face their wrath. Unscrupulous souls, who hate being given a work, and growl even while talking. My intern's still waiting for their post. Which is going to take its time, and is pushing me a few days late in starting my intern. Yuck! )

- Have eaten a lotsa mithai's ...Even My enamel could be tested positive for sugar...even after brushing them a hundred times. (Now I know what having a sweet tooth is like ! ;-) )

- Invited my friends over for a night out, where in we made the food ourselves, ate ourselves, chatted over for long, and slept for long, and surfed a lot. (Some people can be kept happy only on food, talks, and net! We are amongst those.)

- Got the acceptance for Poster Presentation at ISCOMS 2010, Netherlands. Nothing more could've been received with more warmth. (The telephone could not stop ringing, alongwith the ears of mine. )

- Visited some relatives... (at my home town only...!! Yeah, I did not go out.)

- Driven all sorts of vehicles for hours (I hate driving in crowdy places!)

- Read the Medicine book IN my holidays...coz my Best Buddy got a Bell's Palsy. (It sucks, how a normal individual can suddenly develop it.)

- Got a geeky pen--pen-drive as a gift. My jeej gifted me this for the accomplishments. (how I love gadgets!!)

- Got some severed shoulders and torn muscles, dragging the scooter for 2 kms, coz my petrol evaporated.

Am almost completely dead.


Its merely my happy soul that is making my phantom limb write this stuff.... 

Driving...

Driving into the lanes of the interiors of the city.... (which ideally should be called 'corridors', coz they are no more wider than them!)

 ...with a big fat eldah sister behind (Ohh! how I love calling her that...)

and a gear-ed two wheeler...(a la 'Maii LML Scooter...!!... which has recently got a new stand- one which forces me to extend each and every lower limb joint, in case I need to hold it stationary, which happens far too often in the city area.)

Ohh! I wish, the interiors were better planned...a bit better spaced.

I wish the people out there, would stop believing that the roads are their corridors, and walk a bit towards the edges.
Every moment that I saw an empty lane, and changed my gear, I would be seeing some 'aunties' and kids roaming around in the midst as if it was a picnic spot, with a very beautiful lawn laid, and some beautiful butterflies to caught hold off.... -the kids were here one moment, and would run suddenly to the opposite side!! :-x

I wish there was a technique with which the horn could be kept sounding continuously,
so that they could understand that some poor-old-people are driving, and with the little space around, could be forced to fall into a puddle of 'sewer-draining nala'.

The irony is, even after beating the horn loud enough to deafen my ears, these people do not move.
Deaf people.

The road is less of a road, but more of a caterpillar ka jhoola !!

They have endless no. of bumpers, with their steeper heights, ones which worry me, for they might have hit my petrol tank so many times, that it would have started crying and shedding tears (petrol !)


All my joints have been 'moved' , and if I am found on my bed with some sub-luxated hand and wrist joints (the gear changing hand!!), some muscular pain in my arms, callosities all over the palm, some good dole-shole (biceps), some lacerated tendons and torn ligaments (of the lower limb!)

 , you know what happened to me....

Drivi-cities ossificans !!

:-)

Visit to a Palmistry and Horoscope Specialist...

Interested ??

Not me, though.

But, yeah, once in a while (some 4-5 years) I do walk into their territory, and get my 'bhavishya' known.
I don't love it, but I do hate it. Hate because my parents are amongst the ones mad about it. They have friends who are astrologers, and vaastu-shastra-knowers. They talk so much of it, and they discuss so much of it, that If I say, they are obsessed about them, it would not be wrong. They have knowledge about the stuff themselves, and they have visited almost around-fifty different astrologers.

Believe me, being in a astrologer-fanatic's house is tough. Especially, when they decide the color you wear, the rings you put, the pendants you are forced to put your neck around, the particular 'daan' you are told to do.

Although this much of stuff doesn't happen with me, plainly 'coz I refuse to accept their theories and do what they say. And that's because I have an opinion, one which says, that whatever has to happen, will happen, and if we can't change it, why even know what is going to happen.
Save the suspense for later, dude. ;-)

This battle of my opinion, and my siblings, v/s our parents, happens far too often.

I would have been damn interested in writing it here, only if I had not been so bored of talking on it.

And, I was bored on starting it all over again, today, when they asked me to come with them.

And, I found this stuff would be interesting,atleast more than the way I am letting my holidays go like.

Now, how they are going is not the point. Ohk. :-x

I landed up to this spooky place, where this very old man, somewhere around his 70s sits. A dark-place, of the size of a corridor, with a high-ceiling fan, that created enough noise to mask the old man's whispers.
There was this ugly butterfly that targeted me, the moment I sat down. And I could visualize one or two small rats (the baby ones-just a little bit bigger than the littre) running around the place, to take the remaining breath outta my lungs.

Seated myself in front of him, and put my right hand on a big-fat-cushion.

He started his study, and the excerpts are here:

# You are highly attached to your mom- much more than any child. And, you would never leave her. (True to its core, I can't live without her.)

# You have a very stable mind. (False, if this is what you call stable, then the birds live here, not the horses.)

# An extremely strong will-power. (True. Though only partially, as I don't have a will now, so forget power. But, I had this some years back, when I was fighting PMTs.)

# You will time and again make your parents proud. (I wish I do....)

# I have some sort of 'Sun' in Some part of my horoscope, whose position indicates, that I am very very powerful. (i.e. he said: 'Makkar se nahi lena takkar.' i.e. Anyone who argues against me will have to accept my point, and would surrender.) :-) 

By this time, I had sort of started to love him. :-)

# I am lucky.

# I will get some kind of a National Award sometime. (ha ha.... he said, some padma-shri or something)

All while he was looking at my hand and my horoscope, he repeatedly said, 'I love this kundali, I love this kundali.'

# I have another planet somewhere, which makes me a master at many things i.e. I have so many diversions than the usual medical stuff, that sometimes it ends up ruining my growth in my field. (My mum-dad agreed in unison, they are fed up of my netting around, writing, painting, designing and dancing, and what not..)

# I will get some sort of serious injury in my legs, sometime soon. And he has adviced me to drive slowly. (Now, that forces me to think, whether my mum-dad paid him some stuff to say that. They are scared like hell about my rash driving, which they attribute to my un-punctuality.)

# I am prone to influences, and am a hit amongst the opposite gender. (Ohh, the first part is true, but, never knew they tell all this also (the latter).)

 Rest all was fine, don't remember the details more....

Now came my time to ask, and question. I had, by now, started to love him. he he. So, I shot at him, all my questions.

1. Why did you see my right hand, when people say, its the left hand of girls that one should look at? (Hey, I hope you are not considering me a male !)
-- Seeing the left hand of a girl is not true. We, merely, see the working hand of the individual.

2. What does my hand/ horoscope suggest about my base of work: India/ US?
-- Your hand strongly suggests you would stay in India, be some hot-shot, and you would visit a lot many nations. And, your hand also suggests that you are bound to succeed in abroad as well. US is also a good option for you.
(Damn. He left me into the dilemma I already was suffering from.)

3. So, where do you suggest I should go?
-- I suggest you go to US. It will be great for you. But, India too is extremely suitable for you.
(What the hell, man.)
You are a strong will-powered lady who would succeed where-ever you go. So, choose any which base, there are no major obstacles in your success. (#@$%^# - What do I decipher from here??)

4. What speciality I should look out for? (My mum-dad put this up....I don't have confidence over my clearing the Pre-PGs, and they were talking about branch and all. Shit.)
-- Surgery.
(Hey boy, how I controlled myself from hugging him is what, only I know. Elated to the peripheries.)

My questioning ended here, and then started some more rounds about TJ Snr, and Kiddo.
After a couple of hours spend there, I think, it was not a complete waste. I had enough of entertainment, and enough of morale-boosting stuff.


The next round can wait for some 5 years now.... :-)

Tele says: What does the palmist say when you go to them??

Yeh haath mujhe de de, thakur....!! ;-) 

Degree Scroll !

My final year ends here... (I wish It does....!!...i.e. am aiming a success at the results.)

And even before the results could be out, or even before I start my internship and end it, or even before the Rajasthan University ever handed me my provisional degree...

A degree scroll was granted to me, by my family... 

Certifying me as a Doctor !

Mum-Dad made the welcome stuff themselves, and TJ senior did the scroll...

:-)

Thanking God for this sweet family of mine....!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh! My Gosh.....

Can't believe that we would be free of the 'final year' tomorrow,...!!

Last practical...Pediatrics....happens to be scheduled for tomrw....

But, I have failed to get my head into the book....tried to read for it...bt, its such an irressistable feeling...Of being     free of the EXAMS!! the theory ones, and the pracs..... All will end. Can't concentrate.

Have tried fixing my eyes onto the printed words...but, those very letters are illusioning me, and I have been successful at concocting some beautiful places, and filming a complete movie over my activities post-clinical exam.

Am having absolutely NO desires of reading, and infact, it doesn't even matter how the prac goes....

My family's going nuts...they tried to scold me, shout at me, motivate me to study, but, I Simply CAN'T !!
And ...all my friends are also going nuts...as they too are feeling the same.

Its a feeling of the order of 'getting an Independent India' or 'winning the World Cup' or 'emerging victorious in a certain Kargil War' !!
Its the feeling of satisfaction, LIBERTY, , , and God knows what all.....

PS: Just wishing, that the practical ends well....Don't want it to be a complete disaster. (Disaster, though is ought to happen!! - considering my preparation, and also, the subject- I hate Pediatrics!)

:-))

Something, Somewhere went terribly wrong...

:-)

Stress Vanishers . . .

No matter how tiring, how long, how hectic a day has been...no matter how many arguments you had to face, how many discussions you have been a part of...


A good shower bath....
OR
Laying your head on mumma's lap...
OR
A sweet peck on your cheek by Daddy, the great...
OR
Listening to a song that you love listening to, at soothing yet high volumes...
OR
Catching a glimpse of a gift that you 'totally' cherish




things like these, erase out the tiredness...
A smile is risen, the frowns vanish, and a blissfulness sets in.




After a tough day today, as I entered my room, I felt the same happiness, all my tensions evaporated and I felt as if 'Everything is back into its place' and perfect. And it was none of the usual things...the ones stated above.
It was the fragrance of the flowers in our garden, which had diffused from the windows, that permeated my soul and brought that instant smile and cheer. 


The sweet, mild yet intoxicating smell livens me up.




Strange to see that Such a trivial thing can make us happy...




How happy we would be, if we chose to do, only what we like....??

This is the plant which we call to, as 'Raat ki Rani'. 

Dad and Mum love its smell, and I had insisted them to plant it in our gardens (coz I loved it too!!). 

Advantage: Me. :-)

I have the garden-facing room, and the smell only comes in mah room !! Hehaha !!

Night !

Talking over the phone...

 all the time while cutting the veggies,

preparing the stuffing,

cooking,

doing the dishes....

Now, have this wry neck, spastic, painful one, which is not being relieved by the medications ...


Can only say this :

(Dedicated to all my buddies, whom I talked to yesterday, non-stop for some 4 hours.)

'You 


are 


such 


a 


big 


pain 


in 


my 


NECK !! '  ;-)

Turbulence

Some Internal Conflicts: 


Dr. Tele- Hey, End the Finals and I'll prepare for the steps. (US-MLE)


Telly - Why should you?


Dr. Tele- Why should I? Stupid question. I have always had this dream of doing my highers from there. And you, too, know this fact since long. Yeah, I've changed my opinion and decisions some 3-4 times before. But, you know na, since the last 18 months, I have been stable on my decision.


Telly- Yeah. But, don't you want to think once more? Don't take the decision in a haste.


Dr. Tele - No, I mean, Why should I? This has been a dream, I've worked towards achieving it, I have a research under my belt, and an 'almost' confirmation of 2 months electives, and...


Telly- Ohk. Cut the crap.Answer me. What was your dream?


Dr. Tele - My dream was to appear for steps, get a residency in US. You know...USA....Nobody from my family has ever put their feet there. Wow. I will be the first in my kin to land there. And not only land, work there. Earn a livelihood. And lead their lifestyle. 
Well-furnished home and automated gadgets. 
Neat hospitals and civilized patients. 
It all excites me. My mum-dad could proudly say that their daughter is a Doctor in USA. I would buy a hell lots of gadgets for my bro. I would return back home and my family would be there to receive me at the airport. People would flow down to meet me.


Telly- Ohk. Is it all the dream that you had?


Dr. Tele- It IS the dream that I have.


Telly- Is it?


Dr. Tele - ....


Telly - Okay. Leave it. Tell me where do you 'HAPPILY' picture yourself 5 years down the line from now?


Dr. Tele- Hmm. 5 years from now. Happy. Okay. Am a doctor. Done my post-graduation. Doing some advanced stuff as well. Back to India. Living with family, either with my mum-dad or with my hubby. Happy family life.


Telly - Don't tell me you are gonna be coming back to India after staying in US? You don't wanna settle there?


Dr. Tele - Naaah. I'm very clear. I don't want to live there forever. I wish to come back asap. Its so good living with family, with indians around. Nothing can beat Home.


Telly- So, you will put in 4 years of your life to work and learn in US and come back to settle here?


Dr. Tele- yeah.


Telly- And then learn the methods of functioning here, once again.


Dr. Tele- Yeah, I know, there are differences here and there. And I'll need to observe the situations and accustom myself to them. It will take time. But, it is all worth it. Its for the sake of staying at home country.


Telly- Never knew you were so patriotic. :-D ha ha


Dr. Tele - No, I am not. It's not patriotism. Its just my wish of having a life with family. I am no American, to lead a secluded, and isolated life. Friends do matter to me, but, my family's my first and only priority. Professional success comes into consideration only after my personal happiness. 
I make it a point to do something exceptional and different in professional life, but, its only when I am mentally sound. And for my mental happiness, and sanity, I need my family.


Telly - You are sounding like a home-sick Indian girl, who doesn't have the guts and grit to pursue her dreams. he he


Dr. Tele- Dreams... or I would rather say a Fantasy. . . 


Telly - Why do you want to go to US?


Dr. Tele - Coz I want to learn their attitude of working.


Telly - Can't you do that sometime later?


Dr. Tele - Naah, the situations are not that conducive once you have done your Post-grad from here. they prefer Graduates. And besides, I'll have to do the 3 year PG from there, once again. And fellowships are hard to get.


Telly - Ohh. If its so tough. You better go. 


Dr. Tele - But, I need my parents with me. Which, I know, is not going to happen. Its so sad to 'even think of' living oceans apart from them. 
Not being able to touch them, 
not being able to hug them, 
not being able to put my head in mumma's lap and cry, 
not being able to eat the lunch together, 
not being able to get that pampering from them when I fall sick. 


It will feel like being 'Distanced' from them. I'll stay in India. Yeah, I will.


Telly- Come on, you forgot ...Its Indian Pre-PG that you'll have to face. Its tons difficult than MLE.


Dr. Tele- No, MLE is difficult in its own aspects. But, no arguments, Indian PG is damn difficult.


Telly- So, u'll read the stupid-idiot things about the dimensions of particular anatomic structures, and gulp down the clinically irrelevant stuff ?? And what about the inequality here...Reservations??


Dr. Tele- Accept the fact that reservations are the biggest pathogenic organism to our free democratic and impartial state.Bigger than HIV. Agreed. But, why should I live as a second level citizen in US? US is definitely one of the most impartial states, but, the present policies and the ones that can be predicted, all indicate towards the inequality that we, Indians will be facing, thanks to our wizard minds. 


Telly- So, you'll put in loads of energy studying that stuff, with lesser probabilities for getting a berth in PG here, and not be happy and certain ...with getting a residency in US?


Dr. Tele - I fear no hard work, and I fear no results. Hard work is required everywhere. Why should I not aim for here...? Rest, God will answer my efforts. What he thinks I deserve. 


Telly - You'll always be overworked, and underpaid, and be beaten. And you'll always feel that 'You're not receiving what you deserved.' You'll feel frustrated, like you felt 4 years before, for chosing Jdpr and not Mumbai.


Dr. Tele - I can always overwork. Pay doesn't bother me. And as regards, what I deserve and what I receive... - If one feels to do something different and something good, there may be resistance and attempts to suppress it, But, sooner or later, Persistence and revolutionary ideas will find some takers, and they'll eventually succeed. So, the path will be difficult, but, at least it will be what gives me happiness in its truest sense. 


Telly - Its the highest order of Self Realization. What you believed to be your future and your destiny turned out to be just a fantasy dream. 


Dr. Tele - Yeah. My American Dream was more of an incarnation of An American Holiday. :-)


Telly - So...


Dr. Tele - Yeah, So, Hereby I decide to slash off MLE from my options, Work towards establishing myself here. And live happily ever after. ;-)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Tele says: Take your time and talk to yourself for what actually means happiness to you, analyse your options- on the terms of goods and bads, talk to people who are working in the arenas, and then, Take the decision. 


PS: Now that I would not appear for MLE, I am entitled to receive a sum of 10 lakh bucks, which I saved by not giving MLE. ;-)


And I'll be a free bird, for some more years....(Top secret: My mum-dad were considering the option of making me take those vows and pheras, before I set-off for residency.)
;-)