Turbulence

Some Internal Conflicts: 


Dr. Tele- Hey, End the Finals and I'll prepare for the steps. (US-MLE)


Telly - Why should you?


Dr. Tele- Why should I? Stupid question. I have always had this dream of doing my highers from there. And you, too, know this fact since long. Yeah, I've changed my opinion and decisions some 3-4 times before. But, you know na, since the last 18 months, I have been stable on my decision.


Telly- Yeah. But, don't you want to think once more? Don't take the decision in a haste.


Dr. Tele - No, I mean, Why should I? This has been a dream, I've worked towards achieving it, I have a research under my belt, and an 'almost' confirmation of 2 months electives, and...


Telly- Ohk. Cut the crap.Answer me. What was your dream?


Dr. Tele - My dream was to appear for steps, get a residency in US. You know...USA....Nobody from my family has ever put their feet there. Wow. I will be the first in my kin to land there. And not only land, work there. Earn a livelihood. And lead their lifestyle. 
Well-furnished home and automated gadgets. 
Neat hospitals and civilized patients. 
It all excites me. My mum-dad could proudly say that their daughter is a Doctor in USA. I would buy a hell lots of gadgets for my bro. I would return back home and my family would be there to receive me at the airport. People would flow down to meet me.


Telly- Ohk. Is it all the dream that you had?


Dr. Tele- It IS the dream that I have.


Telly- Is it?


Dr. Tele - ....


Telly - Okay. Leave it. Tell me where do you 'HAPPILY' picture yourself 5 years down the line from now?


Dr. Tele- Hmm. 5 years from now. Happy. Okay. Am a doctor. Done my post-graduation. Doing some advanced stuff as well. Back to India. Living with family, either with my mum-dad or with my hubby. Happy family life.


Telly - Don't tell me you are gonna be coming back to India after staying in US? You don't wanna settle there?


Dr. Tele - Naaah. I'm very clear. I don't want to live there forever. I wish to come back asap. Its so good living with family, with indians around. Nothing can beat Home.


Telly- So, you will put in 4 years of your life to work and learn in US and come back to settle here?


Dr. Tele- yeah.


Telly- And then learn the methods of functioning here, once again.


Dr. Tele- Yeah, I know, there are differences here and there. And I'll need to observe the situations and accustom myself to them. It will take time. But, it is all worth it. Its for the sake of staying at home country.


Telly- Never knew you were so patriotic. :-D ha ha


Dr. Tele - No, I am not. It's not patriotism. Its just my wish of having a life with family. I am no American, to lead a secluded, and isolated life. Friends do matter to me, but, my family's my first and only priority. Professional success comes into consideration only after my personal happiness. 
I make it a point to do something exceptional and different in professional life, but, its only when I am mentally sound. And for my mental happiness, and sanity, I need my family.


Telly - You are sounding like a home-sick Indian girl, who doesn't have the guts and grit to pursue her dreams. he he


Dr. Tele- Dreams... or I would rather say a Fantasy. . . 


Telly - Why do you want to go to US?


Dr. Tele - Coz I want to learn their attitude of working.


Telly - Can't you do that sometime later?


Dr. Tele - Naah, the situations are not that conducive once you have done your Post-grad from here. they prefer Graduates. And besides, I'll have to do the 3 year PG from there, once again. And fellowships are hard to get.


Telly - Ohh. If its so tough. You better go. 


Dr. Tele - But, I need my parents with me. Which, I know, is not going to happen. Its so sad to 'even think of' living oceans apart from them. 
Not being able to touch them, 
not being able to hug them, 
not being able to put my head in mumma's lap and cry, 
not being able to eat the lunch together, 
not being able to get that pampering from them when I fall sick. 


It will feel like being 'Distanced' from them. I'll stay in India. Yeah, I will.


Telly- Come on, you forgot ...Its Indian Pre-PG that you'll have to face. Its tons difficult than MLE.


Dr. Tele- No, MLE is difficult in its own aspects. But, no arguments, Indian PG is damn difficult.


Telly- So, u'll read the stupid-idiot things about the dimensions of particular anatomic structures, and gulp down the clinically irrelevant stuff ?? And what about the inequality here...Reservations??


Dr. Tele- Accept the fact that reservations are the biggest pathogenic organism to our free democratic and impartial state.Bigger than HIV. Agreed. But, why should I live as a second level citizen in US? US is definitely one of the most impartial states, but, the present policies and the ones that can be predicted, all indicate towards the inequality that we, Indians will be facing, thanks to our wizard minds. 


Telly- So, you'll put in loads of energy studying that stuff, with lesser probabilities for getting a berth in PG here, and not be happy and certain ...with getting a residency in US?


Dr. Tele - I fear no hard work, and I fear no results. Hard work is required everywhere. Why should I not aim for here...? Rest, God will answer my efforts. What he thinks I deserve. 


Telly - You'll always be overworked, and underpaid, and be beaten. And you'll always feel that 'You're not receiving what you deserved.' You'll feel frustrated, like you felt 4 years before, for chosing Jdpr and not Mumbai.


Dr. Tele - I can always overwork. Pay doesn't bother me. And as regards, what I deserve and what I receive... - If one feels to do something different and something good, there may be resistance and attempts to suppress it, But, sooner or later, Persistence and revolutionary ideas will find some takers, and they'll eventually succeed. So, the path will be difficult, but, at least it will be what gives me happiness in its truest sense. 


Telly - Its the highest order of Self Realization. What you believed to be your future and your destiny turned out to be just a fantasy dream. 


Dr. Tele - Yeah. My American Dream was more of an incarnation of An American Holiday. :-)


Telly - So...


Dr. Tele - Yeah, So, Hereby I decide to slash off MLE from my options, Work towards establishing myself here. And live happily ever after. ;-)


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Tele says: Take your time and talk to yourself for what actually means happiness to you, analyse your options- on the terms of goods and bads, talk to people who are working in the arenas, and then, Take the decision. 


PS: Now that I would not appear for MLE, I am entitled to receive a sum of 10 lakh bucks, which I saved by not giving MLE. ;-)


And I'll be a free bird, for some more years....(Top secret: My mum-dad were considering the option of making me take those vows and pheras, before I set-off for residency.)
;-)