Dec 30, 2008

Clinical Quote :

There's a very oft-used Quote in Medicine:
"EYES
SEE
ONLY
WHAT
THE
MIND
KNOWS...! "


I GUESS, I AM BLIND !! [;)] [/)]

Errrmmm ...


Nothing much to write in...but, just wanted to write for the sake of writing....!! :)

Hence, Happy Birthday Balloo !! ;)

A good day for me...a dear friend's B'day!
Back to good terms with another very dear friend of mine... [just some silly misunderstanding , blown outta proportion !! ] no probs, i managed it...Communication is the key !! Neva forget this simple mantra !
Some more research into my Dream thing....!! Yep, I have made my mind and am working towards it !!

Yuhooo...I can do it..n I'll do it...!!

Wishing The Best End Of This Eventful Year !! :)
And An Amazing Beginning To The Coming One !


HAPPY NEW YEAR !

Dec 17, 2008

HUh!!




Appeared in one more exam...!!
AND Did Very BAADLY !!
huh...
Pitying myself...for not studying ...not studying at all !!
Opened my Ophthal book only for a 3 hour period...IMAGINE...just before the Pre-Universities...Man, I suck !! I am just a hopeless creature on this Big, highly competitive Earth !!
Each day, Each hour, I decided I would study now...but, Nopes, I din't...!!
And you know...I don't feel any remorse...!! Coz I actually din't wanna study...!!
But, after today's plight...
Today's Plight:
Reached the examination hall 15 min late...!!
Saw the paper, and knew, I could manage not more than an hour!!
Started writing, and after flat 45 mins, starting to keep an eye on the watch and my batchmates !
Scribbled some S**T onto the paper...[It is s**t, when you don't know the disease, its definiton, its signs or symptoms, and attempt to answer the treatment given!!]

And there I was, sitting in the hall,
keeping my eyes onto the answer sheet [so that teachers don't get a hit that this girl knows nothing !!],
thinking how can my batchmates ever ask for any EXTRA-sheet [when I couldn't fill even 3 pages of my Main sheet !! and it has some 20 pages.]
feeling shattered for my plain stubbornness for not reading anything !!
making my plans for the coming days and the coming exams, about how I'll cram them, about how I'll develop in me the spirit for studying [ Somehow, the day I entered this college, I have lacked this attitude to study on my own, its only exams that coerce me to study...and I leave the book the moment my calender says, "Exams End!" not picking it up till I am merely 10 days away from the next exams]
And waiting eagerly for someone of my mates to exit the hall, so that, I can follow !!

Finally, after a 2 hour 15 mins jig at the hall,I came out, and had no courage to stay for my friends to come out of the hall and face them...they have all tried their best to motivate me, once, twice, again and again...everytime...!! And I couldn't face them, as I was now realizing my mistake of not listening to them...of not studying !!

So, here I am , Now...
After making a door-poster..saying, that I don't want anyone to disturb me !
After making a Room-Board...where, I have put some Encouraging Words for myself...So that I derive some-kind of motivation to Study !!

So, Bye...I am off to Study !!
Pray for me !!

Dec 13, 2008

Guess What !!



Sitting in the Balcony
Eyeing the passer-byes,
My eyes met someone
Whom I thought I identified.
Oh! Mummy and Daddy,
How silly can I be…?
Not identifying my thee!
Mom and Dad come near,
They had gone shopping
And have bought something dear.
Dear to me, they say,
My need, they say.
“Play a guess game,
And have them right away!”
“Guess Game”, I hate to play,
Coz, can my needs and
Their perspective of ‘my needs’
Ever resonate?
Rare, but may !
What I concentrate upon,
Is ‘NEED’ !
Indeed,
My Mom was too excited,
So, I knew, buy’s gotta be her seed !

She’s been after me,
For my ring-less ears,
Yes, the gold bali I used to wear,
Has been ‘FOR REPAIR’ for years.
I thought, she’s got me a new,
And, Guessed as a pair of earrings
Amongst the options few !
“Oh! Yes, It has to be bought,
But, it just wasn’t in my thought”,
Said my Mum gloomily.
And I hated it again,
For I had recalled her
Of an undone task.
Also, for I had failed to mouth
The guess she had asked.
And, I hated it most, for I had to
Again get to GUESSING !
Afresh, I start,
Seeing the size of the buy,
And its shape,
I focus my mind on the art,
‘The Art of Guessing’.
Oh! Can it be the pens,
Those who have eluded me
At five shops,
Those which are the exam-lifelines,
Which chops,
The matter to be read,
‘The HIGHLIGHTER’ !
‘Only important is supposed
To be brighter !’
Once again I guess,
Only to be depressed,
Coz, I have to guess AGAIN !
No, I quit, I will not
Drain my brain
By playing this game,
I won’t have the buy,
And, no one is to blame!
“Oh! My Beta”, my Mum exclaims,
And she opens her shopping
“What! A Shampoo & an Oil”
I said, with a cough,
Almost whooping !
“Yes, dear, your hair
Have been shedding,
And with the intensity of shed,
Baldness, I am dreading !
Everyday, everytime you comb,
A 100 strands of hair I see
Strewn on the floor,
Lying on your shirt,
And on the comb.”
What a sweet gesture,
I think
And my head without a hair
I imagine…
A shiny head !
No hair to be my CROWN
My brain exposed to heat
And sunlight will turn it brown.
No, No !
It can’t be…
No, It shouldn’t be…
And I’ll rate Baldness
Even more worse than sterility
For a Princess,
Or any ordinary next-door-lass!
‘Oh!’ I sprang on my feet
And hug my Mummy,
For she’s a treat !
A treat that I enjoy
Almost every moment,
Full of care,
And, Me and Mumma, coy !

My existence

Sitting in the library, in a completely vacant room with “scribble-creating-noise-kinda-SILENCE”, a BIG Bailey & Love in front of me, And Me, free to act my own way…Since, no-one’s here !
A perfect time to plunge into the depths of life’s philosophies.
Today, I m searching my existence- Who am I? What is the purpose of my existence? Do I know the purpose? Am I working towards achieving it? Will I fulfill it? Or, like the other things of my life, I’ll lose out the battle to God, who’ll snatch away my most coveted, desired, demanded & well-efforted dreams from my wanting, waiting & wailing eyes !



Leaving all questions behind, I come to the basic and the biggest question I want an answer to: WHO AM I? WHAT AM I?
Exhuberant/cherubic/happy-go-lucky/talkative OR sloopy/sulking/sobbing/cello-taped individual ??

Am I the one, 2 yr old, Snow-white, glued to my mom, crying for her leaving me even for a second; wearing 3-4 layers of clothes in a scorching summer heat.

Am I the one, toddler at school, reciting “I am a little tea-pot, Short and stout”; learning the alphabets & digits; dancing to “karo yeh boogie woogie, aayega phir maza” at annual function.

Am I the one, 10 years old, being adamant & snobby for whatever I wanted; tagging “BEST” to friends(in a briefest of times) to anyone whom I came to know.

Am I the one, 13 year old, monitoring classes, eating the chalks, playing dotch-ball; cheating in exams (my 1st and last time-coz I got caught !); talking over phone.

Am I the one, 14 year old, heartbroken for not receiving my Life’s First Most desired thing-the School’s Best All-Rounder Gold Medal- even when I thought I deserved it. My first defeat of life !

Am I the one, 15 year old, loving adventure to the core, as I exclaim, “WOW, Lucky Gal” when my sister got a fractured wrist; my boards & result-good-great-& exactly-like-I-had-accepted kinds.

Am I the one, 17 year old, living in Kota, all alone(tho, only for a few weeks, as mah grandma or mum used to live with me usually); loving competition; trying to excel myself in every subject; working & studying hard, but, never thinking bout the result.

Am I the one, 18 year old, into college; being ragged; euphoric with my feat & glad with the glow in Mum-Dad’s proud eyes; Anatomy dissections; hating MBBS & planning to quit it, din’t wanto study! But, for the sake of not facing failure, cracking exams !

Am I the one, 19 year old, finding grrrreat friends, knowing the different types of people; knowing the different facets of people’s nature; developing a niche for myself; doing my creative things; looking/searching for a companion in someone & a Big face-off from acads.

OR

Am I the one, 20 years old. Now…knowing so much bout life, its philosophies, its truths, Friends, their basic Needs, their varieties-Mean/Matlabi/Good/Great/True/and many more adjectives can be used. Love-its complexities & intricacies & its sheer worthlessness; ACADS-its importance in one’s life, in all, the whole world.

Is it just this year, that has brought in me such changes?
No, it’s the experience of years together accumulated & made me this mature, sensible & knowledgeable !
I think that I have come of age…or More !

I WISH I COULD FLY

Quite an amateur-writing…written sometime, say 3 years back, at a creative writing competition…on the given theme : “I wish I could fly”



On getting the chance to fulfill my wishes I would like to fulfill one wish which I hold nearest to my heart & that is :

“I wish I could fly”
In the blue sky,
Beneath me would lie
Earth like a delicious pie
With lots of sky scrapers
Like grayish drapers.
And Yes, there is something green
But, unfortunately, hardly seen.

I wish I could fly,
And no borders to be limited by.
I could roam free in the space
And could see the earth’s face,
Which is all dark and tanned
Due to pollution which should be banned.

I wish I could fly
And cover long distances in the sky,
Would reach Switzerland to buy
Some chocolates and some dye.
Would shop from the whole world,
And would get my hair curled.

I wish I could fly
And no tickets shall I buy
No traffic jams would irritate me
And I would fly above the tree
No visa would be required
And I could do whatever I desired.

I wish I could fly,
And look at airplanes passing by
Would accompany the birds
In their cow-like-herds.
I wish I could fly …
I wish I could fly…!!