A perfect time to plunge into the depths of life’s philosophies.
Today, I m searching my existence- Who am I? What is the purpose of my existence? Do I know the purpose? Am I working towards achieving it? Will I fulfill it? Or, like the other things of my life, I’ll lose out the battle to God, who’ll snatch away my most coveted, desired, demanded & well-efforted dreams from my wanting, waiting & wailing eyes !
Leaving all questions behind, I come to the basic and the biggest question I want an answer to: WHO AM I? WHAT AM I?
Exhuberant/cherubic/happy-go-lucky/talkative OR sloopy/sulking/sobbing/cello-taped individual ??
Am I the one, 2 yr old, Snow-white, glued to my mom, crying for her leaving me even for a second; wearing 3-4 layers of clothes in a scorching summer heat.
Am I the one, toddler at school, reciting “I am a little tea-pot, Short and stout”; learning the alphabets & digits; dancing to “karo yeh boogie woogie, aayega phir maza” at annual function.
Am I the one, 10 years old, being adamant & snobby for whatever I wanted; tagging “BEST” to friends(in a briefest of times) to anyone whom I came to know.
Am I the one, 13 year old, monitoring classes, eating the chalks, playing dotch-ball; cheating in exams (my 1st and last time-coz I got caught !); talking over phone.
Am I the one, 14 year old, heartbroken for not receiving my Life’s First Most desired thing-the School’s Best All-Rounder Gold Medal- even when I thought I deserved it. My first defeat of life !
Am I the one, 15 year old, loving adventure to the core, as I exclaim, “WOW, Lucky Gal” when my sister got a fractured wrist; my boards & result-good-great-& exactly-like-I-had-accepted kinds.
Am I the one, 17 year old, living in Kota, all alone(tho, only for a few weeks, as mah grandma or mum used to live with me usually); loving competition; trying to excel myself in every subject; working & studying hard, but, never thinking bout the result.
Am I the one, 18 year old, into college; being ragged; euphoric with my feat & glad with the glow in Mum-Dad’s proud eyes; Anatomy dissections; hating MBBS & planning to quit it, din’t wanto study! But, for the sake of not facing failure, cracking exams !
Am I the one, 19 year old, finding grrrreat friends, knowing the different types of people; knowing the different facets of people’s nature; developing a niche for myself; doing my creative things; looking/searching for a companion in someone & a Big face-off from acads.
OR
Am I the one, 20 years old. Now…knowing so much bout life, its philosophies, its truths, Friends, their basic Needs, their varieties-Mean/Matlabi/Good/Great/True/and many more adjectives can be used. Love-its complexities & intricacies & its sheer worthlessness; ACADS-its importance in one’s life, in all, the whole world.
Is it just this year, that has brought in me such changes?
No, it’s the experience of years together accumulated & made me this mature, sensible & knowledgeable !
I think that I have come of age…or More !
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