Scrutiny curbs expression

Having read the last few posts on this blog makes me feel sad for what I have done with my hobby of writing. There has been a clear downgrading in terms of content and frequency. The frequency doesn't really bother me as much as does the quality of content that I have been posting, which mainly involves putting into words what I have been doing in my life. Grammar has been at an all time low. There is a constant censoring of content that is going on internally. Feelings and emotions are being back spaced. I am scared of what write up of mine might be interpreted in what sense and how much will I have to explain myself for a point that I make here. This blog is being read and followed by our families and friends and every article of mine may lead to a variety of conclusions. It is like being watched day in and day out. Scrutiny is curbing my freedom of expression.

Every post that I write just means a part of my thought process/ feelings that I want to express. The state of mind is dynamic and life keeps on changing. So, a post of some negative observation should be equally welcome with the dozen positive happy posts that one writes. I am not one eternally happy soul, I do have my lows, I do feel hurt. And I would want to express my heartbreak equally as I shout out my joys. My perspective is mine and nobody has the power to impose theirs onto mine. I agree to disagree, and I want the freedom to not say a yes to a thought I don't believe in. I think I have been tired of living my life on someone else's terms. Being the bride and bahu was all fine, you have to appease the society and the people who are important to you. You've to take care of their sentiments and sensibilities. But, for those times when I want to be me, and independent of other influences, I will turn up to blogger. Blogger is a medium for me to know myself better. Let it be that way!!