Out-Patient Departments !! OPDs

Obstetrics and Gynaecology:

> Enter at 8:15 am, and get a scolding for being late. (even though, not a single patient is visible! ) :-D

> Sit down, and fill forms for investigations. (CBC, S.HBsAg, S.VDRL, U/C, X-Ray, HIV)
*--  wuhoo, my colleague send a pregnant female for a Chest X-Ray !! (Had to listen to lots of 'appreciation', from 'chuhiya' mam!! - Apparently it was his first day on duty, and he was so pissed off by the immense swarm of people hovering over him, that he handed someone else's X-ray form with her name!!)

> Fill in some BPL forms. (BPL=Below Poverty Line)
*-- It is tiring. Check the details on their card, crosscheck it with the form, confirm that the relative is genuinely entitled to receive the benefits, sign the form, and send them to another teacher for verification and signatures!! :-D

> Track down the patients who are being admitted, and take samples.

>. Fill in more investigations forms. And direct them to the Blood Bank for tests.
*-- Directions!! I'll die if I am made to do this, even for 2 consecutive days

> Do Beta-HCG Urine Pregnancy Tests.
* Tell each patient to go, 'FIND A TOILET', and collect some urine and bring it to us. 'ONLY A TOILET',.....Tell that 4 times!!

> Keep on scribbling, and fill in more forms for providing medicines to BPL people.

> Rush to the wards, and send the new admissions for investigations.

> Find out the HPE reports, enter them, re-enter them, and give it to the patients.
*My pen dies an untimely death. Grief !!

> If lucky, enter the P/V room, and write down what Ma'm or the R-2 or the R-3 'discovered in their examination.
*With their pen! ;-)

> Fill the Pap Smear forms.

> And, If damn lucky....Get to take a Pap Smear!! :-)

> If Born lucky, get to drink a sip of water!! Aaaahhh!!

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Surgery:

>Enter at 9:30am. Sit in front of an air-cooler.
*Those who wish to go, can leave almost instantaneously!! :-D

> One has the liberty to sit calmly, and catch a nap also.
*Others can just spend some quality time observing the patients, their attitudes, grimaces, and gait, and direct the occasional one/two to the surgeons.

> Some overzealous people dare to enter the MOT. :-D
*98% faint. (2% =  Tele and Spongy)

> Dress some wounds.
*We hate nudity, and strongly condemn it. And, we are doing our bit against it, by mummifying the wounds, and waiting for a burial like Tuttun-khamen! :-D

> Help a patient pee. :-D
*Insert foley's catheter.

> Stitch the injuries-(cuts and lacerations).
* Tailoring Job.

> Clean the patient of all the dirt and splashed blood. -Be it anywhere, even if not at the site of injury.
* Some spa work.

> Horse-riding!! ;-)
hehe...tht's for the anal fissures, and fistulas to be dressed!! ;-)

> Do some repairs.
*ala the Mechanic!! :D

> Some biopsies.
*Drilling like the miners.

> If Born UN-lucky... Get samosas, mirchibadas, kachoris to eat, and lassi, chaach, cold drinks, slice to drink.

> If Lucky...Get to eat LUNCH!! -Hotel ka!!...with paneer and naans !! *yummy
* Actually, had a CME !! haha!!


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Tele says: Take surgery, stay happy, Eat happy, Stay healthy, and above all--ENJOY BITS OF ALL OTHER PROFESSIONS!! ;-)