A Brush. The thing that my hands held after a pretty long time.My hands have held only pens/ highlighters/ books/ steth/ exam papers/ and my Mobile, the past few months; And I don't remember when last did I paint. I guess it was Diwali;Yes, last diwali, when I had paint those three cartoon characters on my Room-wall. And, on paper, I was painting after a complete year. The last thing that was brushed on paper was 'My dilemma' (that's wat I call it..)as it showcased the Dilemmas that I was in & still-happen-to-be in-
Shall I study / Shall I spend my last 'fun' years at college organizing events ? I have a penchant for event-management & I know I would never get a chance to do these once I enter into hard-core acads (Read as: Internship)
Shall I change my field of study : IAS prepration / Post-Graduation in Medicine ? (yes, for once I did consider this option, but, not anymore.) Hey, reading MBBS and thereafter changing fields is like showing the last 5 years of my life a Red Card. Having a Yellow Card (Read as: A Weak Student) signifies still being in competition, and Its better to be playing rather than being benched.
And since I decided to complete my match,
Shall I aim at Indian PGs or A Residency in USA ? & I would rather not explain this point, as I might end up writing A LOT. But, this dilemma still remains the biggest worm to my Brain, eating up not only my neurons, but also my time & ATPs.
That was then.
Colours - All Variety- Poster/Fabric/Sketch/Pencil/Crayons spread out on Bed. Water container & mixing plates...all out.And the Best of my Favorite-Songs Collection being played in background. Yes, I finally decided to put aside the work-load for a while, and be myself,The Artist. (Tho I am not a Great one, But, anyone who practices an Art is called an Artist,and So Am I)
Last 3 days, for 1 painting... But, I know it was worth it, Since, I was away from my schedule, away from books, away from the burden of Final Year, and away from reality."In A TRANCE"- Yes, that's what I have named it.
Gonna put some pics soon !!
And, A painting competition in town...Open entry, No Age-Bar.
Mom forced me to go.(Just because I had finished this painting a day before, and it looked good.) Time limit: 3 hours. How can a person squeeze art into a time-frame? Atleast I can't. And If I have to, the quality will definitely be compromised. The final product was good. People liked it. But, Satisfaction to me was not within-reach.
Will put some pics of this as well...
And, now I need to get back to 'Marking my dayz' i.e. Reading.
Apr 19, 2009
Apr 16, 2009
Bye !!
"Bye!"
After the end of another day's Pediatrics posting, moving in the Umed Hospital premises, towards the vehicle-stand, I heard this sweet-voice of a child.
'Bye!'
A little louder one.
Busy thinking about the things that I had to do; planning my route back to college via MGH, as I had to purchase my Peds log-book & the text book (Yes, I am only 10 days from my post-end ;) ) eat something, fuel my scooter, AND reach for my X-ray class, IN TIME ! ('I need to RUSH!')
'BYYEE!'
A much louder one; Loud enough to indicate me that it was directed at me !
Removing the palm that was trying to hide my face from the cruel-burning-penetrating-sun-rays, I gazed in the direction of the sweet,ear-soothing-voice to see a waving hand of a baby, clung on the shoulders of a man, comfortably.
'Bye.' 'Bye.'
The sweet sound & the cute face were very clear to me now.
'BYE!' I replied & waived a hand.
He again replied back, 'Bye! Bye!' with the excitement & enthusiasm clearly audible.
And, as I moved forward to the bike stand, my steps slowed, my mind questioned, my heart sinked, my mouth gave way to a sad-grim-helpless-'OH!' , & my eyes let go off a tear !
He was Gaurav, 7 year old male child, whom I & my colleagues had examined today. Seven of us were given the task to go & examine & 'take history' of this child. As we all, draped in white aprons, steth proudly being our garland, big books in hands, reached for the bed; there he was, calmly sitting on the bed.
Kids dislike strangers & try to hide behind their parents, or even start crying, uncontrollably. And to imagine them being friendly with the white-apron-wallah-strangers, who carry with themselves the morbid-horror of needles; is clearly no-less-than-a-gross-over-expectation on our part.
But, strangely, this child received us with a SMILE, and that too not 'A DOCTOR', but 'A COMPLETE BUNCH OF DOCTORS'. No apprehension indeed.
During the examination (which was supposed to be finished in 15-20 minutes today), One person talks to the mother, 2-3 do the examination, 1-2 go through the lab reports, one writes up & one eases the child by talking to him. I play this easing role at many instances, more frequently than others.
We examined him. Puffiness of the face, marked abdominal distension, visible engorged veins over chest & abdomen, Inguinal Hernia, hepatomegaly & ascites. Lab reports say it to be Constrictive Pericarditis.
Constrictive Pericarditis to a 7 year old baby...to such a sweet, amicable baby!
No, its not that it isn't curable/treatable. It can be treated.
But,it's for the suffering caused to God's beautiful creatures.
Can God be more insensitive & rude?
I'll leave this question to be answered by God himself.
But, I am near to answering one question of mine, of 'Which speciality suits me?', as I very heartily eliminate PEDS from my list.
I am just not brave enuff to see the suffering of a child, and more-so of the parents. No, I can't!
And, No I wouldn't !!
After the end of another day's Pediatrics posting, moving in the Umed Hospital premises, towards the vehicle-stand, I heard this sweet-voice of a child.
'Bye!'
A little louder one.
Busy thinking about the things that I had to do; planning my route back to college via MGH, as I had to purchase my Peds log-book & the text book (Yes, I am only 10 days from my post-end ;) ) eat something, fuel my scooter, AND reach for my X-ray class, IN TIME ! ('I need to RUSH!')
'BYYEE!'
A much louder one; Loud enough to indicate me that it was directed at me !
Removing the palm that was trying to hide my face from the cruel-burning-penetrating-sun-rays, I gazed in the direction of the sweet,ear-soothing-voice to see a waving hand of a baby, clung on the shoulders of a man, comfortably.
'Bye.' 'Bye.'
The sweet sound & the cute face were very clear to me now.
'BYE!' I replied & waived a hand.
He again replied back, 'Bye! Bye!' with the excitement & enthusiasm clearly audible.
And, as I moved forward to the bike stand, my steps slowed, my mind questioned, my heart sinked, my mouth gave way to a sad-grim-helpless-'OH!' , & my eyes let go off a tear !
He was Gaurav, 7 year old male child, whom I & my colleagues had examined today. Seven of us were given the task to go & examine & 'take history' of this child. As we all, draped in white aprons, steth proudly being our garland, big books in hands, reached for the bed; there he was, calmly sitting on the bed.
Kids dislike strangers & try to hide behind their parents, or even start crying, uncontrollably. And to imagine them being friendly with the white-apron-wallah-strangers, who carry with themselves the morbid-horror of needles; is clearly no-less-than-a-gross-over-expectation on our part.
But, strangely, this child received us with a SMILE, and that too not 'A DOCTOR', but 'A COMPLETE BUNCH OF DOCTORS'. No apprehension indeed.
During the examination (which was supposed to be finished in 15-20 minutes today), One person talks to the mother, 2-3 do the examination, 1-2 go through the lab reports, one writes up & one eases the child by talking to him. I play this easing role at many instances, more frequently than others.
We examined him. Puffiness of the face, marked abdominal distension, visible engorged veins over chest & abdomen, Inguinal Hernia, hepatomegaly & ascites. Lab reports say it to be Constrictive Pericarditis.
Constrictive Pericarditis to a 7 year old baby...to such a sweet, amicable baby!
No, its not that it isn't curable/treatable. It can be treated.
But,it's for the suffering caused to God's beautiful creatures.
Can God be more insensitive & rude?
I'll leave this question to be answered by God himself.
But, I am near to answering one question of mine, of 'Which speciality suits me?', as I very heartily eliminate PEDS from my list.
I am just not brave enuff to see the suffering of a child, and more-so of the parents. No, I can't!
And, No I wouldn't !!
Apr 12, 2009
WoMen And Relationships !
‘Change is the most constant rule of nature’ And this non-amendable rule is the trigger that makes me write this article. Change, Change of the Woman, I am writing about.
Women, the epitome of love; the docile in-house species; the emotional, understanding, caring home-maker; the beautiful, sari-clad, gracious protagonist of compassion, sensuality & patience; To say: the Mother, the Wife, the Sister & the Daughter (these desi relations speak about the Character a Woman has …or I would say, is believed to have.)
And WoMen, the educated independent professional; the schedule-bound, egoistic, men-equivalent; the casual, easily-moving-on, earning house-maker; the bold, minimally-draped, cleavage-ing ‘piece’ of passion, sexuality & pleasure; To say: the Mom, the Girl-friend & the Better-Half.
The times have made woman change dramatically, for the good, and for the worse. But, the Consequences of these changes are more concerning, rather than the Changes, themselves. The changes have occurred and are there to remain. I don’t blame women for the changes, but the situations. With education, risen-knowledge, self-awakening, desire-to-break-the-cage, the attitude were to change. Women had to Empower themselves. And it is this ‘em-POWER-ment’ that is causing problems. And the biggest problem that happens to be is – The Fragility of ‘Once-upon-a-time-Unbreakable’ Relationships.
‘A troublesome relationship’ – and I am talking about the distance between Parents & Kids, and the fallen-apart Brothers & Sisters, and not only the break-ups of the teens, or the incompatibility of the married.
The fairer sex has always played a very pivotal role in the nurturing of a relation. And it is mainly attributed to the un-conditional love, the un-doubtable faith, the ever-optimistic view, the patience to try a thousand times, the qualities, which were once inherent to women. With changing times, lifestyle and attitude of women, relations have suffered a lot.
The woman of today has failed miserably at relations,
as she too works, as she too doesn’t have time to put misunderstandings to bin,
as she too is independent, as she too has her own life, as she too wants to fly untied,
as she too earns, as she too can do whatever she wants to,
as she too has her own set of tensions, as she too can’t exert much to bring a broken relation on track,
as she too is busy, as she too can’t give time to her kids,
as she too gets tired, as she too can’t read out short stories to her kids at night,
as she too doesn’t have time to have a long-light-hearted chat with the family,
as she too has an Ego, as she can’t live with a person who disrespected her,
And as she too is an equivalent to men, as she too will act like the opposite does, as she too will now be at her own.
The 20th century woman is a busy mother, who works, who is busy with her set of things that the child’s excited voice on a game won doesn’t reach her eardrums; that the child’s sad face & tears on the broken-toy-car is not caught by her behind-laptop-screen eyes; that the child’s want of having his mother near him is never realized, forget fulfilled; that the only things they receive are gifts, and not time; that the only thing they do with their children is to teach them the alphabets & digits, and not the morals & sanskar; that they are made to acquire the manners & etiquettes, but not the thinking & attitude to sacrifice/ adjust.
The 20th century woman is a Gal, who studies/works, who has her dreams, who has her thinking, who once might be attracted to an individual, date him to eventually find out that he is not her types (the types she would like to settle with), like him to eventually find out that things won’t work between them (work because of their lack of time for each other), be with him to eventually find out that he is too possessive (the protective-ness is now named the possessive-ness, a pretty excuse to say a gud-bye to a relation), married to him to eventually find out that he suspects her of infidelity (who wouldn’t when you work with them for 14-16 hours a day and then, on returning back, do not communicate nicely with your hubby). They find relations to be a liability on them.
The POWER has made them forget the essence of being a woman. A woman has to bind the home together. A woman has to forget her ego when she’s home. A woman has to put in her time & heart into making a relationship work. These qualities are genetically deficient with men. Its something that comes with that extra X !! The attitude to adjust, the attitude to be at the receiving end (be it love/be it emotions/ be it anger)…coz its In her that she can handle it all. Each person has a well-scripted role to be played, and women have this in their share.
With relationships, you can’t run a Troubleshooter and Solve it. You need to be your own Help Center and devise solutions. Its time the Women realize her role of being the Help-Center of the family.
Women, the epitome of love; the docile in-house species; the emotional, understanding, caring home-maker; the beautiful, sari-clad, gracious protagonist of compassion, sensuality & patience; To say: the Mother, the Wife, the Sister & the Daughter (these desi relations speak about the Character a Woman has …or I would say, is believed to have.)
And WoMen, the educated independent professional; the schedule-bound, egoistic, men-equivalent; the casual, easily-moving-on, earning house-maker; the bold, minimally-draped, cleavage-ing ‘piece’ of passion, sexuality & pleasure; To say: the Mom, the Girl-friend & the Better-Half.
The times have made woman change dramatically, for the good, and for the worse. But, the Consequences of these changes are more concerning, rather than the Changes, themselves. The changes have occurred and are there to remain. I don’t blame women for the changes, but the situations. With education, risen-knowledge, self-awakening, desire-to-break-the-cage, the attitude were to change. Women had to Empower themselves. And it is this ‘em-POWER-ment’ that is causing problems. And the biggest problem that happens to be is – The Fragility of ‘Once-upon-a-time-Unbreakable’ Relationships.
‘A troublesome relationship’ – and I am talking about the distance between Parents & Kids, and the fallen-apart Brothers & Sisters, and not only the break-ups of the teens, or the incompatibility of the married.
The fairer sex has always played a very pivotal role in the nurturing of a relation. And it is mainly attributed to the un-conditional love, the un-doubtable faith, the ever-optimistic view, the patience to try a thousand times, the qualities, which were once inherent to women. With changing times, lifestyle and attitude of women, relations have suffered a lot.
The woman of today has failed miserably at relations,
as she too works, as she too doesn’t have time to put misunderstandings to bin,
as she too is independent, as she too has her own life, as she too wants to fly untied,
as she too earns, as she too can do whatever she wants to,
as she too has her own set of tensions, as she too can’t exert much to bring a broken relation on track,
as she too is busy, as she too can’t give time to her kids,
as she too gets tired, as she too can’t read out short stories to her kids at night,
as she too doesn’t have time to have a long-light-hearted chat with the family,
as she too has an Ego, as she can’t live with a person who disrespected her,
And as she too is an equivalent to men, as she too will act like the opposite does, as she too will now be at her own.
The 20th century woman is a busy mother, who works, who is busy with her set of things that the child’s excited voice on a game won doesn’t reach her eardrums; that the child’s sad face & tears on the broken-toy-car is not caught by her behind-laptop-screen eyes; that the child’s want of having his mother near him is never realized, forget fulfilled; that the only things they receive are gifts, and not time; that the only thing they do with their children is to teach them the alphabets & digits, and not the morals & sanskar; that they are made to acquire the manners & etiquettes, but not the thinking & attitude to sacrifice/ adjust.
The 20th century woman is a Gal, who studies/works, who has her dreams, who has her thinking, who once might be attracted to an individual, date him to eventually find out that he is not her types (the types she would like to settle with), like him to eventually find out that things won’t work between them (work because of their lack of time for each other), be with him to eventually find out that he is too possessive (the protective-ness is now named the possessive-ness, a pretty excuse to say a gud-bye to a relation), married to him to eventually find out that he suspects her of infidelity (who wouldn’t when you work with them for 14-16 hours a day and then, on returning back, do not communicate nicely with your hubby). They find relations to be a liability on them.
The POWER has made them forget the essence of being a woman. A woman has to bind the home together. A woman has to forget her ego when she’s home. A woman has to put in her time & heart into making a relationship work. These qualities are genetically deficient with men. Its something that comes with that extra X !! The attitude to adjust, the attitude to be at the receiving end (be it love/be it emotions/ be it anger)…coz its In her that she can handle it all. Each person has a well-scripted role to be played, and women have this in their share.
With relationships, you can’t run a Troubleshooter and Solve it. You need to be your own Help Center and devise solutions. Its time the Women realize her role of being the Help-Center of the family.
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