‘Change is the most constant rule of nature’ And this non-amendable rule is the trigger that makes me write this article. Change, Change of the Woman, I am writing about.
Women, the epitome of love; the docile in-house species; the emotional, understanding, caring home-maker; the beautiful, sari-clad, gracious protagonist of compassion, sensuality & patience; To say: the Mother, the Wife, the Sister & the Daughter (these desi relations speak about the Character a Woman has …or I would say, is believed to have.)
And WoMen, the educated independent professional; the schedule-bound, egoistic, men-equivalent; the casual, easily-moving-on, earning house-maker; the bold, minimally-draped, cleavage-ing ‘piece’ of passion, sexuality & pleasure; To say: the Mom, the Girl-friend & the Better-Half.
The times have made woman change dramatically, for the good, and for the worse. But, the Consequences of these changes are more concerning, rather than the Changes, themselves. The changes have occurred and are there to remain. I don’t blame women for the changes, but the situations. With education, risen-knowledge, self-awakening, desire-to-break-the-cage, the attitude were to change. Women had to Empower themselves. And it is this ‘em-POWER-ment’ that is causing problems. And the biggest problem that happens to be is – The Fragility of ‘Once-upon-a-time-Unbreakable’ Relationships.
‘A troublesome relationship’ – and I am talking about the distance between Parents & Kids, and the fallen-apart Brothers & Sisters, and not only the break-ups of the teens, or the incompatibility of the married.
The fairer sex has always played a very pivotal role in the nurturing of a relation. And it is mainly attributed to the un-conditional love, the un-doubtable faith, the ever-optimistic view, the patience to try a thousand times, the qualities, which were once inherent to women. With changing times, lifestyle and attitude of women, relations have suffered a lot.
The woman of today has failed miserably at relations,
as she too works, as she too doesn’t have time to put misunderstandings to bin,
as she too is independent, as she too has her own life, as she too wants to fly untied,
as she too earns, as she too can do whatever she wants to,
as she too has her own set of tensions, as she too can’t exert much to bring a broken relation on track,
as she too is busy, as she too can’t give time to her kids,
as she too gets tired, as she too can’t read out short stories to her kids at night,
as she too doesn’t have time to have a long-light-hearted chat with the family,
as she too has an Ego, as she can’t live with a person who disrespected her,
And as she too is an equivalent to men, as she too will act like the opposite does, as she too will now be at her own.
The 20th century woman is a busy mother, who works, who is busy with her set of things that the child’s excited voice on a game won doesn’t reach her eardrums; that the child’s sad face & tears on the broken-toy-car is not caught by her behind-laptop-screen eyes; that the child’s want of having his mother near him is never realized, forget fulfilled; that the only things they receive are gifts, and not time; that the only thing they do with their children is to teach them the alphabets & digits, and not the morals & sanskar; that they are made to acquire the manners & etiquettes, but not the thinking & attitude to sacrifice/ adjust.
The 20th century woman is a Gal, who studies/works, who has her dreams, who has her thinking, who once might be attracted to an individual, date him to eventually find out that he is not her types (the types she would like to settle with), like him to eventually find out that things won’t work between them (work because of their lack of time for each other), be with him to eventually find out that he is too possessive (the protective-ness is now named the possessive-ness, a pretty excuse to say a gud-bye to a relation), married to him to eventually find out that he suspects her of infidelity (who wouldn’t when you work with them for 14-16 hours a day and then, on returning back, do not communicate nicely with your hubby). They find relations to be a liability on them.
The POWER has made them forget the essence of being a woman. A woman has to bind the home together. A woman has to forget her ego when she’s home. A woman has to put in her time & heart into making a relationship work. These qualities are genetically deficient with men. Its something that comes with that extra X !! The attitude to adjust, the attitude to be at the receiving end (be it love/be it emotions/ be it anger)…coz its In her that she can handle it all. Each person has a well-scripted role to be played, and women have this in their share.
With relationships, you can’t run a Troubleshooter and Solve it. You need to be your own Help Center and devise solutions. Its time the Women realize her role of being the Help-Center of the family.
3 comments:
There were a lot other things I wanted to put in...but, going by the lengthy article that I has already-penned down, I have left some things that needed to be here, for later...
Comments invited ! :)
Considering the state in which our society was earlier, the change had to come. If we were to progress, then change had to come.
And I do agree with you that relationships now have become more fragile. But this is not a failure of the women. This is a failure of the society. While the women were changing, the society which till date remains male dominant didn't change. They never accepted and tried to accomodate this change. Earlier, men used to be the sole bread-winner of the family. But now, the women are supporting them equally. And hence men should also support women in running the household. Its the only way in which the balance could be restored.
Also regarding the failure of relationships, I feel that both men and women have now become less patient. Small issues which were earlier ignored are now becoming big. Women should not solely be held responsible for this. The responsibilty now lies on both the partners to carry their relationship along.
Well, this ws one point that I wanted to cover. But cudn't.
Now that this point has been put up...
With time, men too have changed, such that you cud find men do some household works, help out the woman. by saying this I do not wanto put the whole blame onto women. No, they are not the only ones who are responsible for a turned-sour relationship. But, as you too have put it : They have become less patient and less tolerant. ( both men & women, and more so women, coz they have lost this quality of their's)
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